Category: <span>Family Therapy</span>

divorce recovery counseling imago relationship therapist NY

Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center

Dealing with the grief of a broken marriage is a turbulent time where the very foundation of your life is being uprooted, finances are diminishing, social pressures abound, and everything feels completely disoriented.

Depression is a common side-effect and comes with the territory of losing your stability — even if the marriage was on rocky ground to begin with and even if you were the one to file the papers.

Like any breakup, it can take a long time to recover.

Since each individual and situation is different, there is no formula for how to move on from such a devastating experience. You should take as much time as you need, but here are a few suggestions that might help speed the recovery from your divorce.

Expressing your feelings in a safe and secure place can be a significant stress release.

Consider speaking with the Huntington Relationship Center about divorce recovery counseling. We can figure out a healthy way for you to cope with changes, and how to develop an exciting future for yourself.

Understand and appreciate you are part of a new world.

Open your eyes to new adventures and friends. You may find your interests change or you’ll have a desire to do something you never really thought about before. This is a time of self-exploration.

Allow yourself the time to grieve.

No matter how miserable or terrible your marriage ended or how bitter the divorce became, it is normal to feel a sense of loss once it’s done. Your ex-spouse was a big part of your life and it’s typical to feel remorse — even if you have spent the past several months or years already feeling it. This is a normal part of the breakup process.

If you are thinking of divorce or you are already divorced and looking for support, please reach out to the Huntington Relationship Center for more info. about counseling near you.

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non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a person feels, if they’re being genuine with us, or what kind of mood someone is in without them saying anything about it to us. Just the ‘vibe’ someone displays says a thousand words.

Making and maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and bodily gestures are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Our non-verbal communication that we display to our partner is imperative to pay attention to. For example, if a loved one is coming to you with an issue, how you non-verbally listen and respond can change the dynamics between you from a moment of defense & arguing to a moment of clarity & progression.

No marriage or relationship is free from disagreements. However, you can prevent a disagreement from turning into a full blown out argument with good communication, both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbal communication actually plays an essential role in verbal communication.

Here’s a checklist to see if you are projecting any negativity into your relationship:

  1. Am I rolling my eyes?
  2. Do I have my arms crossed?
  3. Am I looking at my phone?
  4. Am I condescending?
  5. Do I sound like a know-it-all?
We all can evaluate what we project into the world through our actions and words.

If you want a new reaction from your partner, try a new action yourself. Take on a different stance; see how the dynamics between you change.

Or the next time you’re in public, smile towards a stranger and mean it! See how your non-verbal communication changes the things around you.

In marriage and relationships, we need to understand that nonverbal communication plays a huge role in feelings of security, as well as creating a feeling of connection and affection.

If you are interested in learning more about counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Attachment Styles in Relationships

Have you ever evaluated the attachment styles in your relationships; whether intimate, friendly or career-based? When we recognize the roles that we play in relationships, we become more aware of our habits & behavior patterns. With this awareness, comes the possibility for change within ourselves and an improved sense of well-being in our relationships.

In Imago Relationship Therapy, there’s a dynamic that is seen in most relationships described as, “The Octopus & The Turtle.”

The Octopus is the person who reaches toward the other for connection during a fight.
The Turtle is the person who withdraws by either shutting down or leaving the room.

Our attachment styles are developed in early childhood. But despite this fact, even if one person was more of a turtle in another relationship, it can change; any person with a desire to change, can.

Remember, who we choose as our partner powerfully affects our ability to thrive in the world.

When you learn about your own attachment styles, and your partner’s, you can then be clear about your needs in a relationship and what makes you happy. This is an important step towards relationship success.

Are you a turtle or an octopus when it comes to love?

Contact me for more information on counseling in Long Island.

Robin Newman LCSW

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Watch Robin Newman on YouTube

Imago relationship therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Make a good relationship better, heal a broken relationship, or prevent a new relationship from potential pitfalls.

If you want to learn the tools to long-term relationship success, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

Your relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often.

Robin Newman, LCSW, is an Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island, NY and is seeing individuals, couples, and small groups in her office in Huntington, New York.

Office Hours:

Tue-Thur 1-9:30, Fri 1-6, Saturdays by appt.

Robin will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago relationship therapy brings healing, wholeness, and spiritual growth.

TRANSFORMATION IS NEAR

·     Become passionate best friends again
·     Learn how to end the power struggles
·     Harness conflict and redirect to growth
·     Gain understanding and insight into each other
·     Experience compassion for yourself and your partner
·     Start the journey of healing

Subscribe to Robin Newman on YouTube!

baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships.

Simply put, “baggage” is the collection of unpleasant memories from the past that continue to negatively affect our perception and behavior in the present.

How and why do we bring baggage into our relationships from the past?

unmet needs - baggage in relationships - Imago therapy

Unmet Needs:

Each of these must be met or we will not feel secure:

Attachment: I’m connected to my caretakers and can depend upon them.

Exploration: I can leave Mom & Dad and come back. I’m not smothered.

Identity I am secure in who I am. I don’t have to be like anyone else.

Competency: I can reach for my dreams and find success without shame.

lost parts - baggage in relationships - Imago therapy

Lost Parts:

We’re born with 4 beautiful ways to connect to others:

Thinking: I can have my own ideas.
Sensing: It’s okay to explore my body.
Feeling: I can have feelings that are different from yours.
Acting: I can show my feelings.

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Protective behaviors are always defensive and adaptive.

They allow us to restore a sense of safety and to continue living and being accepted by our parents, whom we adore and love unconditionally, despite the pain, as infants and young kids. But they can also create problems when their ability to defend and protect is mistaken for an attack.

We look for partners who make us whole, shedding the need to use any protective behaviors. When we can release these protective behaviors in our baggage, we are able to live a freer life.

Although we categorize our baggage into three separate areas, know that all of our baggage is very closely related.

Our protective behaviors are developed from our unmet needs and lost parts. By failing to embrace all of the parts of our personality, our caregivers fail to meet certain needs.

We can’t always unpack one type of baggage. This process can get messy, confusing, and disorganized. But the benefits of unpacking our baggage and opening it up for our partners to see and understand will have unbelievable benefits on our relationship and our lives.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

 
For more info. on relationship counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

stay in connection - Huntington Relationship Therapy

Stay in connection 2020

Stay in connection 2020 – Huntington Relationship Center – Imago Relationship Therapy

Humans are social animals: We crave feeling supported, valued and connected.

Research points to the benefits of social connection: in one compelling study, a key difference between very happy people and less happy people was good relationships.

Communicate to help manage anxiety and stress.

During this time of sheltering in place / being quarantined under the same roof, it’s highly possible that stress, anxiety and depression might start to get the best of us. If it happens to you, know that it’s perfectly normal, especially under these chaotic circumstances.

That’s why it’s so important to stay in connection during these uncertain times. No one should struggle alone. If you find that you could use someone to talk to or you know someone who is in need of assistance, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

As a Long Island social worker, Robin welcomes couples, families, and individuals to her office:
148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps individuals and couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy. (631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Heightened Stress in 2020 - Counseling Services for NYers - Robin Newman, LCSW

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling for NYers

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling Services for NYers – Robin Newman, LCSW

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead. During these stressful times, counseling can be very helpful.

Surviving Heightened Stress in 2020:

Maintain your emotional support system. If you don’t have any, find a licensed therapist who will be that for you. These are the people you can vent your frustration with and share your successes with.

Talking about what’s happening to you is the best way to defuse your feelings and symptoms. Allow yourself to cry. It releases feelings and tension. Get feedback and advice from a professional NY counselor.

Value and protect yourself. Try to exercise. Exercise releases tension in the muscles and reduces the effects of anxiety. Eat right and get your sleep. If you’re run down, you won’t be efficient or function at the intellectual level required to get good grades, do good at work, take care of your kids. Stress degrades the first line of defense in our immune system and prolonged stress usually leads to illness.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples & individuals break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Imago Relationship Therapist Long Island

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained by Robin Newman, LCSW

Every couple starts off the same way with an intentional dialogue: Knee to Knee. Heart to Heart. Eye to Eye.

You must face each other during an important dialogue. It’s very important to check in. Ask if now is a good time to talk with your partner. And if it isn’t, make an appointment. Remember to speak in the “I” and not in the “You.” One topic should only be used. It shouldn’t be a laundry list of things that are going wrong. Below are the key steps with intentional dialogue.

MIRRORING

Once your partner is done speaking to you, you mirror back what they have said. This isn’t only good for the sender to hear, but it’s also good for the receiver, to make sure that they heard and comprehended the message as intended from the sender.

SUMMARY

The receiver then summarizes what their partner said.

VALIDATION

You don’t have to let go of what you believe to validate someone else’s feelings. You are two separate people. Understand what the validation does. Hearing that your partner “gets it.”

EMPATHY

Understand how that makes your partner feel. Step into their shoes for a second and really try to see it through their lens.

Then you two switch from being the sender to the receiver, and vice versa.

The truth of any situation sort of sits in the middle.. Feelings are not facts. So remember, clear communication is absolutely necessary to understand your partner’s feelings and thoughts.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

For more information on counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Intentional Dialogue - Long Island couples' therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

therapistlongisland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

communication process of Imago relationship therapy

The communication process of Imago relationship therapy

Learn the communication process of Imago relationship therapy at our couples workshops located in Huntington – Long Island, NY.

So we break for lunch for an hour to maybe an hour and a half depending on how much material we have gone through and because we all have different ways of learning, we show videos in order to help you to understand more effectively, as examples of how we tend to communicate with each other.

I try to incorporate getting up and moving as much as possible and stretching because we’re sitting for a few hours but everybody has remarked on how the day flies. When we’re finally finished on Sunday, people don’t want to leave and that just makes me feel like I did what I was supposed to do, which was really help the couples and assist them in learning the communication process of Imago relationship therapy – in particular, the intentional dialogue, and just the energy that Don and I bring into the space.

I feel very blessed.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

To learn more about the communication process of Imago relationship therapy or our workshops, please contact me: 631-421-4701

To find the next couples workshop dates, click here.

couples workshop JAN 26 & 27, 2019

“Selective Abstraction”

Selective Abstraction – another cognitive error.

Licensed social worker, Robin Newman, LCSW, speaking about selective abstraction at her class at Adelphi University, Graduate School of Social Work

ONE DETAIL can get taken out of context between two people – the story goes south and becomes a total experience. Don’t let this small detail get in the way of the bigger picture!

We invite you to our Long Island couples workshop!

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT
LONG ISLAND COUPLES WORKSHOP

January 26 & 27, 2019
10-7:30 / 10-6:00

Spice Up Your Relationship & Reconnect With Your Partner

Make a good relationship better, heal a broken relationship, or prevent a new relationship from potential pitfalls. This workshop can make all the difference!

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

ABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN

relationship issues

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid with Robin Newman, LCSW in Long Island So, one of the things that I am finding …

divorce recovery counseling imago relationship therapist NY

Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center Dealing with the grief of a …

break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently …