baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships. Simply put, baggage is the collection of unpleasant memories from the past that continue to negatively affect our perception / behavior in the present. How and why do we bring baggage into our relationships from the past?

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Unmet Needs:

Each of these developmental tasks must be met or we will not feel secure:

Attachment: I’m connected to my caretakers and can depend upon them.

Exploration: I can leave Mom & Dad and come back. I’m not smothered.

Identity I am secure in who I am. I don’t have to be like anyone else.

Competency: I can reach for my dreams and find success without shame.

Lost Parts:

We’re born with four beautiful ways to connect to others:

Thinking: I can have my own ideas.
Sensing: It’s okay to explore my body.
Feeling: I can have feelings that are different from yours.
Acting: I can show my feelings.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times
For more info. on relationship counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Write a Comment

Robin Newman LCSW Long Island, marriage counselor talks about empathy

How do you teach empathy?

Robin Newman, how do you teach empathy? Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things …

Therapy for Better Mental Health

Therapy for Better Mental Health

Therapy for better mental health with Robin Newman, licensed social worker in Long Island, NY So, somebody said to me, “ugh, …

centering exercise - Book an appointment with social worker in Huntington, NY

Centering exercise before couples speak during therapy

Centering exercise before couples speak during therapy with Robin Newman, LCSW in Long Island, NY. Whenever I start an Imago …