Have you ever evaluated the attachment styles in your relationships; whether intimate, friendly or career-based? When we recognize the roles that we play in relationships, we become more aware of our habits & behavior patterns. With this awareness, comes the possibility for change within ourselves and an improved sense of well-being in our relationships.
In Imago Relationship Therapy, there’s a dynamic that is seen in most relationships described as, “The Octopus & The Turtle.”
The Octopus is the person who reaches toward the other for connection during a fight.
The Turtle is the person who withdraws by either shutting down or leaving the room.
Our attachment styles are developed in early childhood. But despite this fact, even if one person was more of a turtle in another relationship, it can change; any person with a desire to change, can.
Remember, who we choose as our partner powerfully affects our ability to thrive in the world.
When you learn about your own attachment styles, and your partner’s, you can then be clear about your needs in a relationship and what makes you happy. This is an important step towards relationship success.
Are you a turtle or an octopus when it comes to love?