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Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center

Dealing with the grief of a broken marriage is a turbulent time where the very foundation of your life is being uprooted, finances are diminishing, social pressures abound, and everything feels completely disoriented.

Depression is a common side-effect and comes with the territory of losing your stability — even if the marriage was on rocky ground to begin with and even if you were the one to file the papers.

Like any breakup, it can take a long time to recover.

Since each individual and situation is different, there is no formula for how to move on from such a devastating experience. You should take as much time as you need, but here are a few suggestions that might help speed the recovery from your divorce.

Expressing your feelings in a safe and secure place can be a significant stress release.

Consider speaking with the Huntington Relationship Center about divorce recovery counseling. We can figure out a healthy way for you to cope with changes, and how to develop an exciting future for yourself.

Understand and appreciate you are part of a new world.

Open your eyes to new adventures and friends. You may find your interests change or you’ll have a desire to do something you never really thought about before. This is a time of self-exploration.

Allow yourself the time to grieve.

No matter how miserable or terrible your marriage ended or how bitter the divorce became, it is normal to feel a sense of loss once it’s done. Your ex-spouse was a big part of your life and it’s typical to feel remorse — even if you have spent the past several months or years already feeling it. This is a normal part of the breakup process.

If you are thinking of divorce or you are already divorced and looking for support, please reach out to the Huntington Relationship Center for more info. about counseling near you.

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break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently in? How do you know when a relationship is over?

Well, there’s many answers to this, and it’s quite nuanced to our individual lives, but here’s a very small list of signs that your relationship may be on the road to a break up.

1. You tend to tolerate more than you would with anyone else.

Now, in relationships, we’ll always be finding new ways to compromise, and tolerating your significant other’s silly habits or quirks, well, that’s pretty normal. This is stuff like not putting away dishes or leaving the front door unlocked or something annoying but insignificant.

But for example, if a friend or co-worker is constantly putting you down or finding new ways to make you feel self-conscious, you would probably stop communicating with those people, right? What if your partner constantly hurt your feelings or did things in spite of how badly you felt about them? If you’re in a relationship where your partner is consistently criticizing everything you do or making you feel worse about most things, evaluate if you react differently to your partner versus the rest of the world when it comes to how they treat you.

2. You do not have aligned life goals.

When you first got together with your partner, did you ever discuss whether it was just for fun’s sake or if you had other visions in mind? I.E. creating a family, owning a home, getting married, or something deeper? Do you think you have compatible life goals with your partner? For example, if one person wants children and the other person does not, this is a valid reason to consider leaving a relationship.

You both aren’t working towards a similar goal to keep you marching in the same direction as a team. When two people share a similar long term goal, they generally have a better chance at staying together. If two people have contrasting views on how they want their future to look like, this could eventually start to divide the commonality in a couple.

3. There’s a lack of attention from one or both people in a couple.

In order to give a plant the best chance of growing and thriving, it needs its basic ingredients: water, sun, and soil. This goes for couples in the same way. A relationship needs nurturing, time and attention to make it successfully satisfying.

What does this mean? In your relationship, do you have planned outings together? Are you going on dates still? Or taking vacations / staycations together? How are you both ‘sowing’ your relationship seed? If one person is always tending to the health of the relationship and the other person does nothing about it, this seems as if the lopsidedness of care will eventually make the one person who’s trying to help, give up. Let’s face it, all relationships take constant work. Make sure that you both are doing whatever is needed to make your connection stay strong.

These are just 3 common aspects that may indicate that a break up could be a possibility. Don’t let this sway you into giving up automatically, we can all change if we decide we want to and are given the right tools to do so.

If you’re struggling with whether to work on your relationship or leave, consider talking with a couples counselor before making any sudden movements. You can work out all the insecurities you have, as well as get a chance to talk about your concerns in a 100% confidential and judgement free space.

Contact Robin Newman for more information on counseling near you.

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non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a person feels, if they’re being genuine with us, or what kind of mood someone is in without them saying anything about it to us. Just the ‘vibe’ someone displays says a thousand words.

Making and maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and bodily gestures are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Our non-verbal communication that we display to our partner is imperative to pay attention to. For example, if a loved one is coming to you with an issue, how you non-verbally listen and respond can change the dynamics between you from a moment of defense & arguing to a moment of clarity & progression.

No marriage or relationship is free from disagreements. However, you can prevent a disagreement from turning into a full blown out argument with good communication, both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbal communication actually plays an essential role in verbal communication.

Here’s a checklist to see if you are projecting any negativity into your relationship:

  1. Am I rolling my eyes?
  2. Do I have my arms crossed?
  3. Am I looking at my phone?
  4. Am I condescending?
  5. Do I sound like a know-it-all?
We all can evaluate what we project into the world through our actions and words.

If you want a new reaction from your partner, try a new action yourself. Take on a different stance; see how the dynamics between you change.

Or the next time you’re in public, smile towards a stranger and mean it! See how your non-verbal communication changes the things around you.

In marriage and relationships, we need to understand that nonverbal communication plays a huge role in feelings of security, as well as creating a feeling of connection and affection.

If you are interested in learning more about counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Attachment Styles in Relationships

Have you ever evaluated the attachment styles in your relationships; whether intimate, friendly or career-based? When we recognize the roles that we play in relationships, we become more aware of our habits & behavior patterns. With this awareness, comes the possibility for change within ourselves and an improved sense of well-being in our relationships.

In Imago Relationship Therapy, there’s a dynamic that is seen in most relationships described as, “The Octopus & The Turtle.”

The Octopus is the person who reaches toward the other for connection during a fight.
The Turtle is the person who withdraws by either shutting down or leaving the room.

Our attachment styles are developed in early childhood. But despite this fact, even if one person was more of a turtle in another relationship, it can change; any person with a desire to change, can.

Remember, who we choose as our partner powerfully affects our ability to thrive in the world.

When you learn about your own attachment styles, and your partner’s, you can then be clear about your needs in a relationship and what makes you happy. This is an important step towards relationship success.

Are you a turtle or an octopus when it comes to love?

Contact me for more information on counseling in Long Island.

Robin Newman LCSW

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Watch Robin Newman on YouTube

Phil S. testimonial of Robin Newman

Review about Robin Newman

“This review could literally be 10 pages long: one page for every year that I have known her both professionally and personally…

Professionally, Robin is top notch. I find her to be an open-minded, straight-talking, no BS, problem solving, truth warrior. She will be the most sensitive, caring, concerned, human being you will find, and treat you as if you were from her own family.

But, be warned! If you are not ready to hear hard truths, have someone eloquently ask you to look in the mirror and be held accountable for your own actions and in pursuit of meaningful change to improve your life – or you would rather have some A-typical, battery operated, drone of a hollow, empty, damaged “therapist” ask you, “So, how does that make YOU feel,” you are going to the wrong office.

She is a sharp, quick witted, hard core, battle tested, successful entrepreneur, athlete, and professional wellness expert that will sit you down and craft a success strategy out of your current challenges and you will move forward with reckless abandon, strength, confidence, self-assuredness, and most importantly, centered in your unique place of personal peace and tranquility.

Personally, I have seldom found someone more interested in listening to my every word and allowing me to vent out my frustrations without judgment. She is not only a trusted colleague in my professional practices but a dependable friend when the chips have been down. Few will raise their voice when the time comes for mistruths, slander, and gossip to be called out. But, if Robin is your friend, rest assured she will not back down from someone who thinks they can, without witness, take your name in vain!

She will be your guardian angel. She walks in light. She will be your best friend, your most trusted professional, and will feel like your pseudo mother, sister, aunt, or wife. If you need help, by the grace of God, your prayers have been answered and Robin delivered unto you.

Be at peace knowing that she is in your corner. There will never be a question of that. As sure as the sun rises in the east, Robin will be your best advocate and cheerleader for a life worth living.”

Testimonial about Robin Newman left by Phil S.

Imago relationship therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Make a good relationship better, heal a broken relationship, or prevent a new relationship from potential pitfalls.

If you want to learn the tools to long-term relationship success, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

Your relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often.

Robin Newman, LCSW, is an Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island, NY and is seeing individuals, couples, and small groups in her office in Huntington, New York.

Office Hours:

Tue-Thur 1-9:30, Fri 1-6, Saturdays by appt.

Robin will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago relationship therapy brings healing, wholeness, and spiritual growth.

TRANSFORMATION IS NEAR

·     Become passionate best friends again
·     Learn how to end the power struggles
·     Harness conflict and redirect to growth
·     Gain understanding and insight into each other
·     Experience compassion for yourself and your partner
·     Start the journey of healing

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Imago relationship therapy workshops

Imago Workshops for Couples in Long Island

Imago relationship therapy workshops for couples in Long Island, NY ~ The Huntington Relationship Center

Stay tuned for our LINY couples workshop dates!!

I am open for business, I have been seeing people face-to-face, Tuesdays through Fridays. I’m fully vaccinated. People come in, sit in the waiting room with a mask on, once you come in, we’re sitting far enough away from one another.

Soon (hopefully by September 2021), my husband Don and I will be back to hosting our Imago workshops in Long Island, NY, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT. We are very excited about this and looking forward to it because that is something that gives us both joy. So, soon we will be able to offer you couples workshops once again.

In our Imago workshops, the maximum capacity will be about 5-6 couples. In the past, we’ve done a larger amount but due to COVID19 and respecting the parameters of the space and keeping people safe, that’s what we’re going to be doing so please stay tuned!

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

Imago Relationship Therapist

Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP CENTER

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

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Imago relationship therapist Long Island New York

Individuals can use an Imago Relationship Therapist too!

What’s interesting about Imago relationship therapy, is once you have an understanding… Once you read that book, I think you don’t really need to have a partner to understand the dynamics of what Harville & Helen are talking about in it. Once you open yourself up to this knowledge base, you can’t shove it all back in. What I’d like to note is that as an Imago relationship therapist, I can also show individuals the same information to help themselves.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

Everything is relational.

How are you feeding into it?
How are you recreating your childhood dynamics?

I always recommend reading the book by the creators of Imago relationship therapy called, Getting The Love You Want, which is a fantastic book. My husband Don and I also do workshops for couples in Long Island, NY.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

The key for me as an Imago relationship therapist is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

imago relationship therapy for individuals long island ny

Imago Relationship Therapy for Individuals Long Island, NY

The Huntington Relationship Center offers Imago Relationship Therapy for Individuals, Couples & Families in Long Island, New York

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC offers Imago relationship therapy for individuals.

Part of our problem is in how we may have been brought up. We don’t always know better, but when equipped with the right knowledge, we can break our learned behaviors and have a better quality of life through better relationships.

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

ABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN:

I am a licensed clinical social worker, Imago relationship therapist, as well as an adjunct professor at the Graduate School of Social Work at Adelphi University. I’m a contributing therapist to Ladies Home Journal Magazine, “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” and the online magazine “Parenting Special Needs, Relationship Rescue”.

I work with couples, families and individuals. I’m successful in guiding my patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, and/or family conflicts.

The key for me is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York

Avoid These Marriage Killers

Let’s face it – we’ve all probably been in a situation where we are arguing with our partner and start to become unkind in the process. Anger flares, insults are hurled, and now the difficult situation we found ourselves in has gotten increasingly worse. There’s many factors that can get in the way of a good marriage, but often, they’re the small, unnoticed things that make their way in. In order to make sure our marriages survive and thrive, here are 4 marriage killers every couple should be on the lookout for:

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York
  1. The Silent Treatment
    This behavior shuts off all communication and is used as a weapon of manipulation. You withdraw from the interaction. It’s sometimes a way to shutout stimulation when feeling attacked. You’re simply unresponsive. Learn to process your emotions when under stress. Communicate that you’re feeling overwhelmed / attacked and need time to process. If you find yourself consistently resorting to this behavior, it’s beneficial to seek out counseling to understand why this is your default response to conflict.
  2. Defensiveness
    You completely shut out what your partner is trying to say and instead you avoid accountability for your part in the conflict. It’s used to protect against feeling blamed – a form of counter attack. Realize that in every conflict, there are two sides. Accept responsibility for even part of the problem. Demonstrate a willingness to see your role in the problem.
  3. Criticism
    This is pointing out something negative by blaming a personality flaw verses the actual behavior. It’s about who a person is… a character assassination. This marriage killer is a form of verbal abuse and an attempt to tear down the other person’s self-esteem in order to obtain the outcome the critic desires. To combat criticism, use a gentle start up to a conversation. You can complain without attacking or blaming.
  4. Contempt
    Once criticism has taken root, the heat gets turned up to contempt. Tone of voice is the most powerful weapon in contempt. It diminishes another person in order to belittle or put them down. You portray harmful feelings of disgust, disrespect, mockery, name-calling, sneering or hostile humor. Build a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship. Look for the good in the other person and seek to restore the relationship through asking for forgiveness.

I think it’s important to remember that we’re all probably guilty of a few of these marriage killers on occasion. However, a pattern of these in your relationship should really serve as a red flag for you and your partner.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

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divorce recovery counseling imago relationship therapist NY

Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center Dealing with the grief of a …

break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently …

non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a …