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counseling for low self-esteem

Counseling for low self-esteem.

Self-esteem determines the value we put on ourselves: our talents, abilities, and personal existence. In other words, it is an opinion about oneself of being worthy or unworthy of something in life. Self-esteem affects how we think and feel about our everyday life experiences.

Low Self Esteem vs High Self Esteem

A person with low self-esteem perceives things with a negative mindset. Whereas a very high self-esteemed person inflates reality and exhibits narcissistic tendencies. In the middle is a healthy self-esteemed person who is confident about one’s intelligence, appearance, abilities, and personality. He or she accepts strengths and limitations with a realistic assessment and is satisfied with the kind of importance given to his or her virtues and talents by people around them or society.

People with healthy self-esteem respect themselves and others for what they are. They put effort to learn from past mistakes instead of getting identified with them. The use of reasoning to overcome hardships, and rebounding in life comes naturally to them. They have the confidence and self-belief to pursue their goals.

So, having healthy self-esteem is essential to be successful in every facet of life including relationships, marriage, parenting, and career.

Here’s some of the key signs of low self-esteem:

• Risk aversion
• Difficulty accepting negative feedback
• Greater focus on flaws / weaknesses
• Dismissal of skills and strength
• Worthlessness
• Inferiority complex
• Feeling disliked and unwanted
• Seeking approval from others
• Fear of rejection
• Display of self-destructive behavior
• Constant comparison with others
• Getting tied in bad relationships
• Fear of intimacy
• Delusional self-image
• Jealousy of others
• Hypersensitivity

These signs are common human behaviors and show up in a person from time to time. But, if a bunch of these are prevalent in a person, it probably might be flaring up from low self-esteem.

What causes low self-esteem?

Although the causes for low self-esteem might differ from person to person, studies show that it normally stems from childhood experiences of being criticized by loved ones, teachers, or any other authority figures.

Being bullied also leaves a lasting negative effect on self-esteem. If it is not from childhood, then a stressful event occurred at any point in life can suddenly create low self-esteem.

counseling Long Island

Here are some life events that might have been stressful enough to trigger low self-esteem in a person:

• Going through discrimination
• Relationship problems
• Sudden loss of money, house, or other essential belonging
• Hostile interaction with a coworker at the workplace
• Loss of job

How counseling helps you to overcome low self-esteem.

When one is looking for a steady balance in mind than being on a roller coaster of highs and lows of self-esteem, counseling indeed helps. As a counselor takes a personalized approach and is willing to hear all your difficulties dealing with low self-esteem, it opens up doors for solving the problem. If you had felt alone and left out, counseling will dissolve those emotions.

Counseling mainly helps you to:

• Identify and understand the reason why you’re suffering from low esteem
• Let out past negative experiences in a safe space
• Recognize your true inner voice of reason
• Recognize adverse thinking patterns

Should I seek counseling for low self-esteem?

Often we disregard low self-esteem as a personality trait than a psychological condition. It is needed to seek treatment to cope and eventually get rid of the low esteem problem in you. If neglected, it could badly affect your interpersonal relationships, work, school responsibilities, social interaction, and setting boundaries with others.

How a counselor can help you heal self-esteem problems.

Building a positive psychological climate.

When you attend the first counseling session, the counselor will work on making you feel comfortable and develop a connection with you. This establishes trust and a sense of mutual purpose to solve the problem. Also, it forms a basis for progressing through further stages without roadblocks. With a positive psychological climate created in the early stage, the likelihood of attaining a desirable outcome is greater.

Problem exploration.

In this step, the counselor explores the roots of your feeling of inadequacy, low self-confidence, and self-belief. The source of your nagging internal voice that has been draining your internal energy is identified and revealed to you. Call it an a-ha moment or self-realization, with the problem source in front, it becomes a lot easier to address the issue. After identification, the counselor gets an idea about what treatment plan could suit you, what goals to be set and achieved, how to assess you and provide options and alternatives as things progress. The problem exploration process goes through different stages by itself.

Broadly you can share:

• How self-esteem is affecting your daily life.
• Behaviors and thought patterns that bug you.
• How long the problem has existed.
• When does it appear and is it predictable based on situations?
• Activities you perform every day or how your typical day progresses.
• Family history.
• Personal history.

Every counselor has their list of questions that they might ask to diagnose your problem. So it is likely that you will be asked a lot more things than the ones pointed above.

Setting of goals and seeking a commitment to action.

It is often observed that people with psychological problems do not have a way to get out of it. As the counselor sets goals after examining the problem, you will have a path in front of you to relief. This creates motivation in you to work towards achieving those goals. The goals set by counselors are specially catered to suit your everyday life, personal knowledge, and skills. They are measurable in terms of progress. So it becomes easier for you to know how you are doing and have a better understanding of what needs to be accomplished.

The counselor will define the goals in simple terms while explaining its benefits and limitations. This builds confidence and hope in you to make an effort at dealing with your low self-esteem problem. Apart from setting goals and explaining them to you, the counselor will break them down into manageable parts and give you strategies to follow and achieve them. As you accomplish the set goals, it increases your mental capacity to appreciate yourself and face criticism without getting bogged down.

Shedding years of self-doubt takes effort and time.

You can overcome low self-esteem problems and reach new heights in life when you decide to take action for yourself and your quality of life.

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman, social worker & owner of the Huntington Relationship Center in Long Island, NY.

baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships. Simply put, baggage is the collection of unpleasant memories from the past that continue to negatively affect our perception / behavior in the present. How and why do we bring baggage into our relationships from the past?

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Unmet Needs:

Each of these developmental tasks must be met or we will not feel secure:

Attachment: I’m connected to my caretakers and can depend upon them.

Exploration: I can leave Mom & Dad and come back. I’m not smothered.

Identity I am secure in who I am. I don’t have to be like anyone else.

Competency: I can reach for my dreams and find success without shame.

Lost Parts:

We’re born with four beautiful ways to connect to others:

Thinking: I can have my own ideas.
Sensing: It’s okay to explore my body.
Feeling: I can have feelings that are different from yours.
Acting: I can show my feelings.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times
For more info. on relationship counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701 therapistlongisland@gmail.com

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Adelphi University

Robin Newman, Senior Adjunct Faculty Member at the Adelphi School of Social Work

Robin Newman, LCSW in Huntington, NY is now a Senior Adjunct Faculty Member at the Adelphi School of Social Work. She continues educating Long Island students in social work and counseling.

Senior Adjunct Faculty Member at Adelphi University

For clips of Robin Newman at Adelphi, see below, or follow Robin on YouTube:

Long Island counseling

Irrational Beliefs Theory – The Becks Model – Underlying Schema

Selective Abstraction – another cognitive error.

The role of the Narrative Therapist

Schema-Focused Cognitive Therapy – Treatment for Lifelong Patterns

Imago Relationship Therapy founders

Marriage (even for marriage experts) is never easy.

Imago relationship therapy is a highly effective form of relationship and couples therapy that has positively affected thousands of couples around the world. This transformational method of therapy was developed 25 years ago by Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, and provides resources for couples & individuals seeking to find a way to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Just like any other couple, Harville & Helen experienced a power struggle where they attempted to change each other to be “more like me.”

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

A critical comment would degenerate into loud arguments.

Blaming each other was a common focus of conversation.

After a decade of marriage, they found themselves teetering on the brink of divorce. They started to lose hope that their relationship would survive.

Facing the inevitable, they decided to give one last try and commit to doing everything possible to salvage their relationship.

Harville & Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples & families by a creating relational culture that supports universal equality and effective communication.

It offers communication tools that will allow both people to feel safe & connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

anxiety counselor NY

Steps to Combat Anxiety

Steps to Combat Anxiety:  The experts say that we are all suffering from anxiety right now and I believe them. It may manifest itself in different ways for different people, but we all feel it.

Sometimes, things are so obvious that we think we shouldn’t even have to say it, but during times of great stress, we do need it said; We need it to be said over & over. So here’s what you (and I) need to do:

1. Go to bed – Don’t stay up all night. Turn the devices off and get as much sleep as possible.

2. Exercise – I know the gym is closed, but there are plenty of ways to exercise at home or outside. Just try going up and down the stairs 10 times in a row at the very least.

3. Eat well – Fight the urge to eat all the time. Eat things that are good for you. Try to eat on a normal schedule. This will help you sleep better too.

4. Get some solitude – You need to get some alone time with your thoughts if you are around a group constantly. You need to just take a couple of deep breaths and try to relax.

5. Connect with friends – We are all social creatures. Loneliness is an epidemic in our culture today. Reach out to your friends and family. Spend some time on the phone or Facetime or Skype with them.

Even after doing all these things, you may still feel out of sorts. It’s ok, we’re all in this together. I’m here to help if you need someone to listen.

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

(631) 421-4701  < Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >
stay in connection - Huntington Relationship Therapy

Stay in connection 2020

Stay in connection 2020 – Huntington Relationship Center – Imago Relationship Therapy

Humans are social animals: We crave feeling supported, valued and connected.

Research points to the benefits of social connection: in one compelling study, a key difference between very happy people and less happy people was good relationships.

Communicate to help manage anxiety and stress.

During this time of sheltering in place / being quarantined under the same roof, it’s highly possible that stress, anxiety and depression might start to get the best of us. If it happens to you, know that it’s perfectly normal, especially under these chaotic circumstances.

That’s why it’s so important to stay in connection during these uncertain times. No one should struggle alone. If you find that you could use someone to talk to or you know someone who is in need of assistance, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

As a Long Island social worker, Robin welcomes couples, families, and individuals to her office:
148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps individuals and couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy. (631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Heightened Stress in 2020 - Counseling Services for NYers - Robin Newman, LCSW

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling for NYers

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling Services for NYers – Robin Newman, LCSW

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead. During these stressful times, counseling can be very helpful.

Surviving Heightened Stress in 2020:

Maintain your emotional support system. If you don’t have any, find a licensed therapist who will be that for you. These are the people you can vent your frustration with and share your successes with.

Talking about what’s happening to you is the best way to defuse your feelings and symptoms. Allow yourself to cry. It releases feelings and tension. Get feedback and advice from a professional NY counselor.

Value and protect yourself. Try to exercise. Exercise releases tension in the muscles and reduces the effects of anxiety. Eat right and get your sleep. If you’re run down, you won’t be efficient or function at the intellectual level required to get good grades, do good at work, take care of your kids. Stress degrades the first line of defense in our immune system and prolonged stress usually leads to illness.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples & individuals break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Prayer for Gratitude with Robin Newman

Prayer for Gratitude during Coronavirus

I found something that is very touching that I’d thought I would share with you in order to help you get through today. It’s a prayer for gratitude. Also, after I read this, I’m going to share ways to keep yourself from getting less anxious.

If you find that you are getting very anxious during these times, the best thing for you to do is provide some structure to your day. As I’ve said to a few patients that I’ve seen virtually lately, getting out of the bed in the morning and putting the TV on right away is not a good thing to do. It’s really important to get up, maybe do a meditation, maybe pray for gratitude, make a gratitude journal for the things you are grateful for this time when you are at home. Then start your day after writing in a gratitude journal to taking a walk outside or some kind of exercise. But really, limit your TV intake to 15-20 minutes of news a day. Save entertainment for later in the day. Try to find little projects to do because we’re strapped in for the long haul right now, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Just know that you are strong and you can do this.

Robin NewmanRemote video counseling sessions with Robin Newman

Due to the current status of things here on Long Island, Robin Newman, LCSW, is offering virtual therapy sessions until we’re all able to see one another again face to face. For more information, contact Robin today.

If you liked this prayer for gratitude, show Robin some love on Facebook!

romantic love

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion ~ Getting The Love You Want Sept. 2019 Workshop ~ Long Island, NY

Romantic love is not an illusion.

We’re our highest selves when we let go of defenses. We think the person who we’re falling in love with is “giving” us these feelings, but actually, it’s our body that is producing them. We are in love with feeling alive. We are in love with the experience of living with an open heart. We are in love with love! And we think it will never end. Who we are in romantic love is not an illusion, but who we really are when we let go of our defenses. We get in touch with the person we were always meant to be.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT COUPLES WORKSHOPS

The New York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love & companionship.

Is your relationship starving for affection, romance & passion?

Do you wish to deepen the relationship, the closeness & the intimacy that once made it so special?

Does it seem like you can’t stop the cycle of anger, blame, arguments & withdrawal?

Do you consistently feel unheard?

Do you wish you argued less & talked more?

Well, it’s time to make important changes in your relationship!

Discover what really lies beneath triggered reactions in romantic partnerships and how to make lasting change. Move into more conscious connection and have the relationship of your dreams.

Learn to effectively communicate, work through conflicts in a skilled way, and be genuinely affectionate with each other.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

bootcamp couples therapy

Getting Through Hard Times

It’s easy to love when we are blissfully happy, when we are in love and everything is running smoothly, but love is tested in hard times developed in crisis and reaches its full maturity when unexpected tragedies unfold. So, although we never seek or welcome tragedy, we need to remember that there is a hidden jewel stitched into the hem of its garment. Getting through hard times invites the enlargement of love in us, and stretches us beyond our limits, so that we find that our love expands.

“In conflict, there is growth.”

Invest In Your Love ~ Try a (private) weekend workshop of couples’ therapy.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with getting through hard times and moving ahead.

Couples’ counseling intensives are 1 1/2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York. Treated as a “boot camp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

counseling for low self-esteem

Counseling for low self-esteem.

Self-esteem determines the value we put on ourselves: our talents, abilities, and personal existence. In other words, it …

baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships. Simply put, baggage is the collection of unpleasant memories …

Adelphi University

Robin Newman, Senior Adjunct Faculty Member at the Adelphi School of Social Work

Robin Newman, LCSW in Huntington, NY is now a Senior Adjunct Faculty Member at the Adelphi School of Social Work. She continues …