Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less and less communication overall. Listening to your partner with neutrality / keeping your defenses down leads to more emotional intimacy — a closeness between two people who feel safe and secure with each other — it is one of the ways that we form trust.
Communication is 50% speaking and 50% listening.
Even if you disagree with what your partner is saying, do you still give them the opportunity to be themselves and tell you how they honestly feel? Listening to your partner with neutrality can be a total game changer in relationships.
Through Imago dialogue, couples can learn how to clearly communicate their desires / frustrations.
If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.
Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.