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Negativity
Tip of the month…. Move from negativity to problem solving. Negativity pushes the other person away. Problem solving is a cooperative, how we can solve this so that we both feel safe and okay.
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Just for today
Poet John Donohue said, “bless the space between us”. Think of your relationship as living in the space between you and remember to take care of that space. Everything you say and everything you do affects the space (your relationship): the way you look at each other, the tone of your voice, the words you…
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Appreciations
Give your partner one appreciation every day. So often people tell me that they don’t feel appreciated by their spouse. Tell your partner how much you appreciate something nice or thoughtful that they did for you today. Appreciations can help us to feel emotionally safe with each other. Remember that an appreciation a day can…
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Tip of the month
If you have something important that you want to discuss with your spouse or partner, asking, “Is now a good time to talk?” can make a big difference. It gives the other person a “heads up” that you want their undivided attention, that this is important to you, that you really want them to listen…
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Psychology Today Article on Intimacy
I was reading my monthly subscription of “Psychology Today” and was very taken with an article on intimacy. The article was written by Lisa A. Phillips, who is a professor of journalism at SUNY New Paltz. The part that truly stood out to me was the following: Becoming close to another person is one of…
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Our Throw-Away Society
In my opinion, we live in a throw-away society. If something is broken nowadays, we just go out and buy / find a new one. We don’t spend the time or money fixing anything in order to make it work more effectively. The cold, hard truth is that successful relationships take time and a bunch of…
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Fix My Partner
So many couples come into couples therapy with the attitude of “just fix my partner.” They don’t look at how they participate in the dance of intimacy. Many will ask “what can I do to make this work?” What sometimes troubles me are the few who are unwilling to do their homework when I assign…
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INVEST IN YOUR LOVE
What many couples don’t realize is that divorce is very expensive. If money is spent on good couples therapy, it actually is more cost effective. That’s what I love about Imago Relationship Therapy – it gets right to the heart of the matter. I think the thing that saddens me the most is when a…
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