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Just for today

Poet John Donohue said, “bless the space between us”.

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Think of your relationship as living in the space between you and remember to take care of that space. Everything you say and everything you do affects the space (your relationship): the way you look at each other, the tone of your voice, the words you speak, the way that you touch one another, if you smile, if you roll your eyes and everything else. I am adding that if you do this and model relationship to your children, you will be amazed at how quickly they will learn to be in a healthy vibrant relationship themselves.

Appreciations

marriage therapist LINYGive your partner one appreciation every day.

So often people tell me that they don’t feel appreciated by their spouse. Tell your partner how much you appreciate something nice or thoughtful that they did for you today.

Appreciations can help us to feel emotionally safe with each other.

Remember that an appreciation a day can help to keep the therapist away!

Tip of the month

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If you have something important that you want to discuss with your spouse or partner, asking, “Is now a good time to talk?” can make a big difference. It gives the other person a “heads up” that you want their undivided attention, that this is important to you, that you really want them to listen to you. It also shows that you are respectful of their time and are not assuming that they are available on your time schedule. If your partner or spouse says no, it’s not a good time, accept that and ask for an appointment within 24 hours when he/she will talk to you.

intimacy - The Relationship Vision

Psychology Today Article on Intimacy

I was reading my monthly subscription of “Psychology Today” and was very taken with an article on intimacy. The article was written by Lisa A. Phillips, who is a professor of journalism at SUNY New Paltz. The part that truly stood out to me was the following:

Becoming close to another person is one of the most thrilling experiences in the human repertoire, both the bedrock of emotional security and a passport to self-expansion.

If the relationship is a romantic one, intimacy is as much the essence of deep friendship as of lasting love. It carries the added charge of desire.

Although the term intimacy is often used as a euphemism for sex, anyone with a dear friend knows that physical attraction is not essential for any two people to create a true bond.

Intimacy is what you share with another human being who gets you.

The part that stood out to me the most was “self-expansion”. What that means to me is that my partner helps my process of growing into my authentic self. That through my partner, I can grow through whatever discomforts may arise. I, in turn can help them to grow as well.

For information on couples counseling in Long Island, contact me!

imago relationship therapy NYMy approach towards couples therapy is oriented not only towards solving the problems a couple is facing, but to revive the feelings of love and affection they have towards one another.

My office is located in Huntington, New York.

Watch me on YouTube!

Our Throw-Away Society

couples therapist LINYIn my opinion, we live in a throw-away society. If something is broken nowadays, we just go out and buy / find a new one. We don’t spend the time or money fixing anything in order to make it work more effectively.

The cold, hard truth is that successful relationships take time and a bunch of patience in order to see the payoffs.

The way our throw-away society thinks is that if we have a conflict within our relationship, then we are probably with the wrong person. That way of thinking is based on our society’s concept of instant gratification.

If we have conflict, lets first look at our accountability and how we can grow within the relationship we’re already in. This is done in a safe, confidential space where couples can speak their truths openly and effectively.

To learn more about Imago relationship therapy, contact me!

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Fix My Partner

couples therapy LINY - fix my partnerSo many couples come into couples therapy with the attitude of “just fix my partner.”

They don’t look at how they participate in the dance of intimacy. Many will ask “what can I do to make this work?”

What sometimes troubles me are the few who are unwilling to do their homework when I assign it. The only way to make a relationship work, is to work at being conscious and doing what it takes to get there. We spend most of our relationship in unconsciousness state. One partner is talking while the other is occupied with something and they are not paying attention. A typical scenario is when the partner states “you never listen to me” the other will then state “I was busy doing something, what do you expect?” Disconnect.

INVEST IN YOUR LOVE

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

TherapistLongIsland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Invest in your Love: HuntingtonRelationshipTherapy.com

INVEST IN YOUR LOVE

What many couples don’t realize is that divorce is very expensive. If money is spent on good couples therapy, it actually is more cost effective.

That’s what I love about Imago Relationship Therapy – it gets right to the heart of the matter.

I think the thing that saddens me the most is when a couple tells me over the phone, after they’ve made the inquiry, that they don’t feel like working on their marriage once we discuss the length of time and typical investment. What I want to say to them is “good luck in divorce court and losing your money”. It’s much more satisfying to invest in your love and repair what is truly special to you.

What I wish I could help couples understand is that the divorce process can be so much longer, bitter and more costly… not to mention upsetting.

INVEST IN YOUR LOVE

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For more information on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

TherapistLongIsland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York

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the spiral experience in relationships - Imago therapy NY

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Robin Newman, LCSW Long Island therapists

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