Category: Relationship Tips

couples counseling - communication techniques
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips Social Work Therapy • • • • By Christine 0 Comments

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less and less communication overall. Listening to your partner with neutrality / keeping your defenses down leads to more emotional intimacy — a closeness between two people who feel safe and secure with each other — it is one of the ways that we form trust.

Communication is 50% speaking and 50% listening.

Even if you disagree with what your partner is saying, do you still give them the opportunity to be themselves and tell you how they honestly feel? Listening to your partner with neutrality can be a total game changer in relationships.

Through Imago dialogue, couples can learn how to clearly communicate their desires / frustrations.

If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.

Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.

~ Subscribe to the Huntington Relationship Center on YouTube ~

getting the love you want weekend workshop couples therapy long island 2022
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips Workshops • • • • • • • • • • By Robin Newman 1 Comment

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshop 2022

Robin Newman licensed clinical social worker Long Island, marriage counselor

We’re excited to share with you our new dates for our weekend couples counseling workshop, ‘Getting The Love You Want’ in Long Island, New York.

Taking place in Huntington, NY, this intensive couples workshop gets right into it, no messing around. Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist, Social Worker & Owner of the Huntington Relationship Center will be facilitating the event along with her husband, Don.

September 17 & 18, 2022
10 am – 6 pm

Couples’ counseling workshops are 2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York.

Treated as a “bootcamp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

This workshop is designed for married & single couples of all gender & sexual orientations.

Mountainside Huntington

The Getting The Love You Want Workshop will be taking place at:

Mountainside Huntington

141 E. Main Street, Huntington, NY 11743

Mountainside Huntington

Mountainside Huntington is conveniently located in Long Island, New York, and is within easy commuting distance for residents in Suffolk County and Nassau County.

$975.00 per couple

Sign up today to secure your spot: We have limited space since couples break off into private rooms at points to talk privately.

What you will discover in a Getting the Love You Want workshop for couples:

  • Why the very qualities that attracted you to each other now often drive you crazy.
  • How to get to the root of your problems and learn how to dissolve them.
  • How to successfully communicate your frustrations & desires to get your needs met.
  • How you and your partner can express your love and appreciation in ways that work for both of you.
  • Greater compassion and understanding – of both yourself and your partner.
  • How to create fun, romance, passion, and intimacy.
  • How to re-establish the excitement and intimacy of your first months or years together.
  • How to achieve growth and lasting fulfillment – for both of you.

Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist in this intensive weekend couples workshop right here in Long Island, New York

“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”

Have Questions?

Call Robin Newman for additional information on this couples workshop (631) 421-4701

Email Robin Newman

Ready to Sign Up?

Payments for the workshop are made via Venmo to Robin Newman, LCSW

Getting The Love You Want Weekend Couples Workshop Huntington, NY 2022

Click Here To RSVP To Our ‘Getting The Love You Want’ Couples Workshop

RSVP →

break up in relationships
Couples Therapy Individual Therapy Relationship Tips Therapy • • • • • By Christine 0 Comments

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently in? How do you know when a relationship is over?

Well, there’s many answers to this, and it’s quite nuanced to our individual lives, but here’s a very small list of signs that your relationship may be on the road to a break up.

1. You tend to tolerate more than you would with anyone else.

Now, in relationships, we’ll always be finding new ways to compromise, and tolerating your significant other’s silly habits or quirks, well, that’s pretty normal. This is stuff like not putting away dishes or leaving the front door unlocked or something annoying but insignificant.

But for example, if a friend or co-worker is constantly putting you down or finding new ways to make you feel self-conscious, you would probably stop communicating with those people, right? What if your partner constantly hurt your feelings or did things in spite of how badly you felt about them? If you’re in a relationship where your partner is consistently criticizing everything you do or making you feel worse about most things, evaluate if you react differently to your partner versus the rest of the world when it comes to how they treat you.

2. You do not have aligned life goals.

When you first got together with your partner, did you ever discuss whether it was just for fun’s sake or if you had other visions in mind? I.E. creating a family, owning a home, getting married, or something deeper? Do you think you have compatible life goals with your partner? For example, if one person wants children and the other person does not, this is a valid reason to consider leaving a relationship.

You both aren’t working towards a similar goal to keep you marching in the same direction as a team. When two people share a similar long term goal, they generally have a better chance at staying together. If two people have contrasting views on how they want their future to look like, this could eventually start to divide the commonality in a couple.

3. There’s a lack of attention from one or both people in a couple.

In order to give a plant the best chance of growing and thriving, it needs its basic ingredients: water, sun, and soil. This goes for couples in the same way. A relationship needs nurturing, time and attention to make it successfully satisfying.

What does this mean? In your relationship, do you have planned outings together? Are you going on dates still? Or taking vacations / staycations together? How are you both ‘sowing’ your relationship seed? If one person is always tending to the health of the relationship and the other person does nothing about it, this seems as if the lopsidedness of care will eventually make the one person who’s trying to help, give up. Let’s face it, all relationships take constant work. Make sure that you both are doing whatever is needed to make your connection stay strong.

These are just 3 common aspects that may indicate that a break up could be a possibility. Don’t let this sway you into giving up automatically, we can all change if we decide we want to and are given the right tools to do so.

If you’re struggling with whether to work on your relationship or leave, consider talking with a couples counselor before making any sudden movements. You can work out all the insecurities you have, as well as get a chance to talk about your concerns in a 100% confidential and judgement free space.

Contact Robin Newman for more information on counseling near you.

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non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY
Couples Therapy Family Therapy Relationship Tips Therapy • • • • • By Robin Newman 0 Comments

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a person feels, if they’re being genuine with us, or what kind of mood someone is in without them saying anything about it to us. Just the ‘vibe’ someone displays says a thousand words.

Making and maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and bodily gestures are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Our non-verbal communication that we display to our partner is imperative to pay attention to. For example, if a loved one is coming to you with an issue, how you non-verbally listen and respond can change the dynamics between you from a moment of defense & arguing to a moment of clarity & progression.

No marriage or relationship is free from disagreements. However, you can prevent a disagreement from turning into a full blown out argument with good communication, both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbal communication actually plays an essential role in verbal communication.

Here’s a checklist to see if you are projecting any negativity into your relationship:

  1. Am I rolling my eyes?
  2. Do I have my arms crossed?
  3. Am I looking at my phone?
  4. Am I condescending?
  5. Do I sound like a know-it-all?
We all can evaluate what we project into the world through our actions and words.

If you want a new reaction from your partner, try a new action yourself. Take on a different stance; see how the dynamics between you change.

Or the next time you’re in public, smile towards a stranger and mean it! See how your non-verbal communication changes the things around you.

In marriage and relationships, we need to understand that nonverbal communication plays a huge role in feelings of security, as well as creating a feeling of connection and affection.

If you are interested in learning more about counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips • • By Robin Newman 0 Comments

Avoid These Marriage Killers

Let’s face it – we’ve all probably been in a situation where we are arguing with our partner and start to become unkind in the process. Anger flares, insults are hurled, and now the difficult situation we found ourselves in has gotten increasingly worse. There’s many factors that can get in the way of a good marriage, but often, they’re the small, unnoticed things that make their way in. In order to make sure our marriages survive and thrive, here are 4 marriage killers every couple should be on the lookout for:

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York
  1. The Silent Treatment
    This behavior shuts off all communication and is used as a weapon of manipulation. You withdraw from the interaction. It’s sometimes a way to shutout stimulation when feeling attacked. You’re simply unresponsive. Learn to process your emotions when under stress. Communicate that you’re feeling overwhelmed / attacked and need time to process. If you find yourself consistently resorting to this behavior, it’s beneficial to seek out counseling to understand why this is your default response to conflict.
  2. Defensiveness
    You completely shut out what your partner is trying to say and instead you avoid accountability for your part in the conflict. It’s used to protect against feeling blamed – a form of counter attack. Realize that in every conflict, there are two sides. Accept responsibility for even part of the problem. Demonstrate a willingness to see your role in the problem.
  3. Criticism
    This is pointing out something negative by blaming a personality flaw verses the actual behavior. It’s about who a person is… a character assassination. This marriage killer is a form of verbal abuse and an attempt to tear down the other person’s self-esteem in order to obtain the outcome the critic desires. To combat criticism, use a gentle start up to a conversation. You can complain without attacking or blaming.
  4. Contempt
    Once criticism has taken root, the heat gets turned up to contempt. Tone of voice is the most powerful weapon in contempt. It diminishes another person in order to belittle or put them down. You portray harmful feelings of disgust, disrespect, mockery, name-calling, sneering or hostile humor. Build a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship. Look for the good in the other person and seek to restore the relationship through asking for forgiveness.

I think it’s important to remember that we’re all probably guilty of a few of these marriage killers on occasion. However, a pattern of these in your relationship should really serve as a red flag for you and your partner.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

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imago relationship therapy NY
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips • • • By Robin Newman 1 Comment

The Imago Dialogue for Couples

If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.

Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.

The Imago Dialogue

In the Imago Dialogue, both partners agree to a basic ground rule: one person talks at a time.

There is one person who is speaking (aka sending) and another who is listening (aka receiving).

It’s when you’re in the role of Listener/Receiver that you will be doing the 3 steps of Imago Dialogue which are:

• Mirroring
• Validation
• Empathy

STEP 1: MIRROR

When your partner pauses, or perhaps when you have asked them to pause, you will repeat back exactly everything you heard them say. You will mirror without analyzing, critiquing, modifying or responding.

EXAMPLE: “If I got it right, I heard you say…” and then ask the Speaker/Sender if there’s more they’d like to add to what they said: “Is there anything else you want to add/say?”

STEP 2: VALIDATE

After giving the Sender as many opportunities to “add more” as needed, once the Sender says there is no more, the Receiver attempts to validate what the Sender said. The Sender will validate if what they are hearing back from you is making logical sense to them – if they feel you got the message. If the Sender feels that you didn’t understand what they’ve told you, you simply share what does make sense to you, and then ask the Sender to say more about the parts that don’t.

EXAMPLE: “This makes sense to me because…” or “That makes sense, I can see where…”

Ask for clarification:  “This part makes sense, but help me understand this, can you say more?”

STEP 3: EMPATHIZE

In the final step, the Receiver takes a guess as to what they imagine the Sender might be feeling with regard to what they have been saying. If the Sender has already said how they feel, then the Receiver can simply reflect this back once more. If the Receiver can think of an additional way their partner might be feeling, this is where they add that.

When sending empathy, it is fine to say something such as:  “I can imagine you feel like …. (you’re the only one working on our relationship).” However, it’s important to know that once the word “like” comes into play, what’s being expressed is a thought, not a feeling. The best way we have come to distinguish the difference between a thought and a feeling, is that a feeling can generally be described in a few words: happy, excited, safe, cared for, hurt, frustrated, scared. Try to include feeling words if you can. Doing so, especially when lucky enough to hit the proverbial nail on the head, will often bring a look of recognition and joy to your partner’s face faster than anything else you could say.

EXAMPLE:  “I can imagine you might be feeling drained from this…”

Now that the Sender has said all they have to say and the Receiver has mirrored, validated and empathized, the whole process reverses. Partners trade places, but the new Sender does not start a new topic, rather s/he responds to what the first Sender said. The Receiver now gets their turn to respond with whatever came up for them while the first partner was sending.

If you are interested in learning more about using Imago Dialogue for your relationship, contact Robin Newman, LCSW.

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romantic love
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips Workshops • • • By Robin Newman 0 Comments

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion ~ Getting The Love You Want Sept. 2019 Workshop ~ Long Island, NY

Romantic love is not an illusion.

We’re our highest selves when we let go of defenses. We think the person who we’re falling in love with is “giving” us these feelings, but actually, it’s our body that is producing them. We are in love with feeling alive. We are in love with the experience of living with an open heart. We are in love with love! And we think it will never end. Who we are in romantic love is not an illusion, but who we really are when we let go of our defenses. We get in touch with the person we were always meant to be.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT COUPLES WORKSHOPS

The New York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love & companionship.

Is your relationship starving for affection, romance & passion?

Do you wish to deepen the relationship, the closeness & the intimacy that once made it so special?

Does it seem like you can’t stop the cycle of anger, blame, arguments & withdrawal?

Do you consistently feel unheard?

Do you wish you argued less & talked more?

Well, it’s time to make important changes in your relationship!

Discover what really lies beneath triggered reactions in romantic partnerships and how to make lasting change. Move into more conscious connection and have the relationship of your dreams.

Learn to effectively communicate, work through conflicts in a skilled way, and be genuinely affectionate with each other.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

bootcamp couples therapy
Couples Therapy Individual Therapy Relationship Tips Therapy • • By Robin Newman 0 Comments

Getting Through Hard Times

It’s easy to love when we are blissfully happy, when we are in love and everything is running smoothly, but love is tested in hard times developed in crisis and reaches its full maturity when unexpected tragedies unfold. So, although we never seek or welcome tragedy, we need to remember that there is a hidden jewel stitched into the hem of its garment. Getting through hard times invites the enlargement of love in us, and stretches us beyond our limits, so that we find that our love expands.

“In conflict, there is growth.”

Invest In Your Love ~ Try a (private) weekend workshop of couples’ therapy.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with getting through hard times and moving ahead.

Couples’ counseling intensives are 1 1/2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York. Treated as a “boot camp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

The Art of Communication
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips • • By Robin Newman 0 Comments

Common Communication Issues in Relationships

The big challenge for couples is to try to understand that…

  1. You’re not symbiotic.
  2. You came into this relationship as two individuals.
  3. Both of your opinions/perspectives can exist in the same space (and believe it or not, both are right).

The Art of Communication

Different opinions are not right or wrong – it’s just allowing your partner to exist in the same space as you. They don’t have to think exactly like you. Your way is not the right way, but just simply, your way.

Learning how to communicate effectively in a relationship can drastically improve your love life, no matter how long you’ve been together, but sometimes that can feel like a big, overwhelming task. Learning the art of communication can really save what could be a healthy, thriving, relationship.

Attend our boot camp-style couples workshop to learn effective strategies to communicating better!

Open, honest communication is important in a healthy relationship. Learn how you and your partner can communicate better in this couples workshop hosted by Robin Newman and her husband Don.

Find the next workshop dates my husband and I will be hosting here.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

The Art of Communication Weekend Couples Workshop Long Island
Couples Therapy Relationship Tips Workshops • • By Robin Newman 3 Comments

Getting The Love You Want: Weekend Couples Workshop

Become the most connected couple you know with this Long Island weekend workshop to help you & your partner enhance closeness, communicate better, and experience a deeply fulfilling & lasting relationship.

SAT & SUN, SEPTEMBER 21 & 22, 2019, 9:30-7:00 PM

575 Broadhollow Road Melville, NY 11747
(MAKE IT A GETAWAY: located across the street from Hilton hotel.)

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PCYour relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often. If you want to learn the secrets to long-term relationship success, attend our weekend workshop or contact me today for more information on couples counseling.

Breakfast, refreshments & snacks included.

$545.00 per couple.

** This workshop is designed for married and single couples of all gender and sexual orientations.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

The New York Times Bestselling Guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship.

Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended by professional therapists and happy couples around the world.

TRANSFORMATION IS NEAR

·     Become passionate best friends again.
·     Learn how to end the power struggles.
·     Harness conflict and redirect to growth.
·     Start the journey of healing.

For more info., contact Robin Newman (631) 421-4701.

Long Island Couples Workshop September 2019Do any of these describe your relationship?

Do you LOVE each other, but feel DISTANT & DISCONNECTED?

Do you want more ROMANCE & INTIMACY?

Do you WONDER what happened to the PASSION of earlier days?

Do you wish you ARGUED less & TALKED more?

Are you ANGRY all of the time & easily IRRITATED?

Do you long to feel more CONNECTED?

Then JOIN US for our next GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT weekend couples workshop!

Photos of our space in Melville, NY for Long Island couples workshops:

Long Island Weekend Couples WorkshopRobin Newman, LCSW, and her husband Don will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection and wholeness using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation.

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

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David Weber - Holistic Counseling Long Island

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roles in relationships

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships

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