Tag: relationship counselor

imago relationship therapy NY

The Imago Dialogue for Couples

If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.

Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.

The Imago Dialogue

In the Imago Dialogue, both partners agree to a basic ground rule: one person talks at a time.

There is one person who is speaking (aka sending) and another who is listening (aka receiving).

It’s when you’re in the role of Listener/Receiver that you will be doing the 3 steps of Imago Dialogue which are:

• Mirroring
• Validation
• Empathy

STEP 1: MIRROR

When your partner pauses, or perhaps when you have asked them to pause, you will repeat back exactly everything you heard them say. You will mirror without analyzing, critiquing, modifying or responding.

EXAMPLE: “If I got it right, I heard you say…” and then ask the Speaker/Sender if there’s more they’d like to add to what they said: “Is there anything else you want to add/say?”

STEP 2: VALIDATE

After giving the Sender as many opportunities to “add more” as needed, once the Sender says there is no more, the Receiver attempts to validate what the Sender said. The Sender will validate if what they are hearing back from you is making logical sense to them – if they feel you got the message. If the Sender feels that you didn’t understand what they’ve told you, you simply share what does make sense to you, and then ask the Sender to say more about the parts that don’t.

EXAMPLE: “This makes sense to me because…” or “That makes sense, I can see where…”

Ask for clarification:  “This part makes sense, but help me understand this, can you say more?”

STEP 3: EMPATHIZE

In the final step, the Receiver takes a guess as to what they imagine the Sender might be feeling with regard to what they have been saying. If the Sender has already said how they feel, then the Receiver can simply reflect this back once more. If the Receiver can think of an additional way their partner might be feeling, this is where they add that.

When sending empathy, it is fine to say something such as:  “I can imagine you feel like …. (you’re the only one working on our relationship).” However, it’s important to know that once the word “like” comes into play, what’s being expressed is a thought, not a feeling. The best way we have come to distinguish the difference between a thought and a feeling, is that a feeling can generally be described in a few words: happy, excited, safe, cared for, hurt, frustrated, scared. Try to include feeling words if you can. Doing so, especially when lucky enough to hit the proverbial nail on the head, will often bring a look of recognition and joy to your partner’s face faster than anything else you could say.

EXAMPLE:  “I can imagine you might be feeling drained from this…”

Now that the Sender has said all they have to say and the Receiver has mirrored, validated and empathized, the whole process reverses. Partners trade places, but the new Sender does not start a new topic, rather s/he responds to what the first Sender said. The Receiver now gets their turn to respond with whatever came up for them while the first partner was sending.

If you are interested in learning more about using Imago Dialogue for your relationship, contact Robin Newman, LCSW.

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Couples Workshop Long Island Feb 21 & 22, 2020

NY Couples Workshop for February 2020

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT

The New York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love & companionship.

February 21 & 22, 2020

Sat & Sun, 9:30-7:00 PM

575 Broadhollow Rd Melville, NY

Is your relationship starving for affection, romance and/or passion?

Do you wish to deepen the relationship, the closeness, and the intimacy that once made it so special?

Does it seem like you can’t stop the cycle of anger, blame, arguments, and withdrawal?

Do you consistently feel unheard?

When any of this occurs, it’s time to make important changes in your relationship.

A change where the two of you are able to effectively communicate, work through conflicts in a skilled way, and be genuinely affectionate with each other.

Your relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often.

Don’t miss our next NY Couples Workshop February 2020! If you are struggling to find clarity and connection with your partner, this workshop will give you the tools to succeed.

Couples Workshop Long Island Feb 21 & 22, 2020
Robin Newman, LCSW, and her husband Don will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection using Imago Relationship Therapy, an approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago brings you healing and spiritual growth.

If you want to learn the tools to long-term relationship success, attend our weekend workshop February 21 & 22, 2020 or contact Robin Newman, for information on couples counseling:

(631) 421-4701

$ 695.00 per couple. Limited space.

Breakfast, refreshments & snacks included.

** This workshop is designed for married & single couples of all gender & sexual orientations.

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshop Melville, NY 2019

NY Couples Workshop February 2020

Couples Workshop Feb 21 & 22, 2020
Couples Bootcamp Long Island Feb 21 & 22, 2020
GTLYW Workshop Feb 21 & 22, 2020
GTLYW couples workshops

How do the GTLYW couples workshops work?

Our Long Island GTLYW couples workshops are two days. You are given workbooks with exercises and a lot of psycho-educational material than Don and I teach you, and then once we teach you the exercises, we have you break off with your partner and go and work in a space and do the exercises together while we walk around  and check in to see if you need assistance. So everything is very private and is only discussed between you and your partner.

Conflict is growth waiting to happen.

Stand in it and allow yourself to work from it, and grow with your partner.

Learn better communication skills with one another.

Learn how to empathize and validate your partner.

Relationship counseling and support for couples: It doesn’t matter if you’re married, living together, single, gay, bi, straight or transgender – we’re here to help you.

Couples therapist and counselor Robin Newman explains that most feelings of receiving inadequate love come from unresolved childhood conflicts.

Use relationship challenges to create growth and healing. Most importantly, to create the relationship that you have always wanted. When 2 people understand that there is a “space between” each other and learn how to care for one another in deeper ways, their relationship will dramatically improve as well as the quality of their lives.

For more information on GTLYW couples workshops, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

therapistlongisland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

marriage therapy Huntington, NY

Imago Relationship Therapy – Appreciate Your Partner

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC

Individual, Family & Couples Counseling Long Island, NY.

Appreciate Your Partner

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

couples counseling Long IslandABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN:
I am a licensed clinical social worker, Imago relationship therapist, as well as an adjunct professor at the Graduate School of Social Work at Adelphi University. I’m a contributing therapist to Ladies Home Journal Magazine, “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” and the online magazine “Parenting Special Needs, Relationship Rescue”.

I work with couples, families and individuals.

I’m successful in guiding my patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, and/or family conflicts. The key for me is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

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