What saddens me about our culture, is that we tend to take our children as hostages.
In our search to create meaning in our relationships with our significant others, we decide that perhaps children will connect us intimately. So we have a few. We wait and wait for the instant gratification of our connection to resume or happen. What’s so sad is that it doesn’t and now there are children involved in the same dynamic that the couple created.
Over the years, I have heard from so many couples who knew it wasn’t working and had children anyway.
Some are tired and don’t want to do the work. They will call me a few times and reach out but decide that, putting the time and effort into their relationship isn’t worth it at this point. So, we end up with more carnage by inflicting our poor way of communicating in our marriage onto our children. We are their role models, their compass in the storm.
We enable them to lose their way.
Then we wonder, “why did they choose the partner that they did”?