Tag: Getting The Love You Want

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

​You are what you do daily… so make good habits for yourself and your relationship!

“The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.”
– Ernest Dimnet

Gratitude

Your daily habits with the person you love will define the overall health of the relationship. So, show some appreciation! Showing gratitude for your partner is an important way to boost satisfaction. Couples who feel (and express) gratitude daily for one another feel closer, and tend to be more satisfied in their relationship.

Gratitude makes us feel happier and more secure with our partners. So the next time you think it doesn’t matter if you say, “thank you” for something your partner did, think again. Consider the negative feelings we all tend to feel if we notice a lack of appreciation from our partners over time. Everyone likes to hear positive reinforcement, and it shouldn’t matter if you’ve known your partner for 6 months or 25 years. It’s about the daily habits that you create with one another.

Attention

Becoming complacent is a common obstacle couples face. Some couples find that once they get used to each other, they stop putting in as much effort as they once did. It’s important to stay mindful of whether or not your partner is getting the time / attention they deserve.

Carving out time to enjoy each other is a foundational element of a relationship’s longevity. This will look different for each couple but things like playing / having fun together, creating meaningful moments, or supporting each other’s hobbies are all ways to make time for your relationship.

Affection

It goes without saying that love should be a part of any healthy romantic relationship. But more subtle than love is the expression of it in the form of affection and genuine interest. Do you actually like your partner? Small gestures of affection (hugs, kisses, comforting touch, sweet words, etc.) can go a long way to keeping each person feeling secure, wanted and appreciated.

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Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose your words wisely… Words are an instrument to heal or wound – to connect or separate.

Try to think about the words you use with your partner this week… Do they heal or wound, connect or separate?

The traumatizing and/or healing effect that words can have on people.. especially when in a committed relationship, can make or break the longevity of a couple.

Words that are compassionate and non-judgmental have the power to calm, soothe, and re-ground us.

They activate our social engagement response, helping us to feel safely connected to other people. This has the effect of reducing fears, anxiety, and a sense of isolation.

Words can de-escalate a flight-fight response, enabling us to successfully navigate challenges rather than wildly striking out or fleeing.

Loving words of encouragement give us hope, enhance self-esteem, and enable us to take healthy risks in life that allow for ongoing personal and professional growth.

So please take the time to notice the words you use when interacting with others. Ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say to my child, my partner, my co-worker, the stranger in line ahead of me, kind or unkind?” “What impact will my words have on this person?”

And keep in mind that when you text or e-mail, tone of voice, emotion, animation, body language, and facial expressions are all missing. Therefore, your word choice is even more important as it is the sole way in which your message will be communicated and received.

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getting the love you want weekend workshop couples therapy long island 2022

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshop 2022

Robin Newman licensed clinical social worker Long Island, marriage counselor

We’re excited to share with you our new dates for our weekend couples counseling workshop, ‘Getting The Love You Want’ in Long Island, New York.

Taking place in Huntington, NY, this intensive couples workshop gets right into it, no messing around. Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist, Social Worker & Owner of the Huntington Relationship Center will be facilitating the event along with her husband, Don.

September 17 & 18, 2022
10 am – 6 pm

Couples’ counseling workshops are 2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York.

Treated as a “bootcamp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

This workshop is designed for married & single couples of all gender & sexual orientations.

Mountainside Huntington

The Getting The Love You Want Workshop will be taking place at:

Mountainside Huntington

141 E. Main Street, Huntington, NY 11743

Mountainside Huntington

Mountainside Huntington is conveniently located in Long Island, New York, and is within easy commuting distance for residents in Suffolk County and Nassau County.

$975.00 per couple

Sign up today to secure your spot: We have limited space since couples break off into private rooms at points to talk privately.

What you will discover in a Getting the Love You Want workshop for couples:

  • Why the very qualities that attracted you to each other now often drive you crazy.
  • How to get to the root of your problems and learn how to dissolve them.
  • How to successfully communicate your frustrations & desires to get your needs met.
  • How you and your partner can express your love and appreciation in ways that work for both of you.
  • Greater compassion and understanding – of both yourself and your partner.
  • How to create fun, romance, passion, and intimacy.
  • How to re-establish the excitement and intimacy of your first months or years together.
  • How to achieve growth and lasting fulfillment – for both of you.

Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist in this intensive weekend couples workshop right here in Long Island, New York

“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”

Have Questions?

Call Robin Newman for additional information on this couples workshop (631) 421-4701

Ready to Sign Up?

Payments for the workshop are made via Venmo to Robin Newman, LCSW

relationship issues

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid with Robin Newman, LCSW in Long Island

So, one of the things that I am finding ‘post-covid’ now that things are opening up more is people coming in individually, not as a couple, to talk about the disillusionment of their relationship and how Covid has put their relationship over the top.

The first thing I say to them is, I need you to check in with yourself, because as much as I do understand that Covid has put your relationship over the top, I’m going to invite you to consider that these issues were all there before covid.

Being locked in with your significant other / wife / husband / girlfriend / boyfriend / partner is going to bring out the ugly stuff because there is no exit.

There’s some healthy exits and there are some unhealthy exits.

Unhealthy Exits:

  • Drinking Too Much
  • Working Too Much
  • Eating Too Much

Healthy Exits:

  • Creating Space For Yourself
  • Having A Balanced Life

I try to explain to people that maybe they need to look inward at what their accountability is in the relationship process and what’s happening. How they have fed into ‘the challenge’ that’s occurring in the relationship and we go from there.

Stay Tuned For Our Next Long Island Couples Workshop Dates!

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC Individual, Couples & Family Therapist
The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center 148 East Main Street Huntington, NY (631) 421-4701

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

Robin Newman, LCSW

ABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN: I am a licensed clinical social worker, Imago relationship therapist, as well as an adjunct professor at the Graduate School of Social Work at Adelphi University. I’m a contributing therapist to Ladies Home Journal Magazine, “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” and the online magazine “Parenting Special Needs, Relationship Rescue”.

I work with couples, families and individuals. I’m successful in guiding my patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, and/or family conflicts. The key for me is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently in? How do you know when a relationship is over?

Well, there’s many answers to this, and it’s quite nuanced to our individual lives, but here’s a very small list of signs that your relationship may be on the road to a break up.

1. You tend to tolerate more than you would with anyone else.

Now, in relationships, we’ll always be finding new ways to compromise, and tolerating your significant other’s silly habits or quirks, well, that’s pretty normal. This is stuff like not putting away dishes or leaving the front door unlocked or something annoying but insignificant.

But for example, if a friend or co-worker is constantly putting you down or finding new ways to make you feel self-conscious, you would probably stop communicating with those people, right? What if your partner constantly hurt your feelings or did things in spite of how badly you felt about them? If you’re in a relationship where your partner is consistently criticizing everything you do or making you feel worse about most things, evaluate if you react differently to your partner versus the rest of the world when it comes to how they treat you.

2. You do not have aligned life goals.

When you first got together with your partner, did you ever discuss whether it was just for fun’s sake or if you had other visions in mind? I.E. creating a family, owning a home, getting married, or something deeper? Do you think you have compatible life goals with your partner? For example, if one person wants children and the other person does not, this is a valid reason to consider leaving a relationship.

You both aren’t working towards a similar goal to keep you marching in the same direction as a team. When two people share a similar long term goal, they generally have a better chance at staying together. If two people have contrasting views on how they want their future to look like, this could eventually start to divide the commonality in a couple.

3. There’s a lack of attention from one or both people in a couple.

In order to give a plant the best chance of growing and thriving, it needs its basic ingredients: water, sun, and soil. This goes for couples in the same way. A relationship needs nurturing, time and attention to make it successfully satisfying.

What does this mean? In your relationship, do you have planned outings together? Are you going on dates still? Or taking vacations / staycations together? How are you both ‘sowing’ your relationship seed? If one person is always tending to the health of the relationship and the other person does nothing about it, this seems as if the lopsidedness of care will eventually make the one person who’s trying to help, give up. Let’s face it, all relationships take constant work. Make sure that you both are doing whatever is needed to make your connection stay strong.

These are just 3 common aspects that may indicate that a break up could be a possibility. Don’t let this sway you into giving up automatically, we can all change if we decide we want to and are given the right tools to do so.

If you’re struggling with whether to work on your relationship or leave, consider talking with a couples counselor before making any sudden movements. You can work out all the insecurities you have, as well as get a chance to talk about your concerns in a 100% confidential and judgement free space.

Contact Robin Newman for more information on counseling near you.

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Imago relationship therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island

Make a good relationship better, heal a broken relationship, or prevent a new relationship from potential pitfalls.

If you want to learn the tools to long-term relationship success, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

Your relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often.

Robin Newman, LCSW, is an Imago Relationship Therapist in Long Island, NY and is seeing individuals, couples, and small groups in her office in Huntington, New York.

Office Hours:

Tue-Thur 1-9:30, Fri 1-6, Saturdays by appt.

Robin will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago relationship therapy brings healing, wholeness, and spiritual growth.

TRANSFORMATION IS NEAR

·     Become passionate best friends again
·     Learn how to end the power struggles
·     Harness conflict and redirect to growth
·     Gain understanding and insight into each other
·     Experience compassion for yourself and your partner
·     Start the journey of healing

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Imago relationship therapy workshops

Imago Workshops for Couples in Long Island

Imago relationship therapy workshops for couples in Long Island, NY ~ The Huntington Relationship Center

Stay tuned for our LINY couples workshop dates!!

I am open for business, I have been seeing people face-to-face, Tuesdays through Fridays. I’m fully vaccinated. People come in, sit in the waiting room with a mask on, once you come in, we’re sitting far enough away from one another.

Soon (hopefully by September 2021), my husband Don and I will be back to hosting our Imago workshops in Long Island, NY, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT. We are very excited about this and looking forward to it because that is something that gives us both joy. So, soon we will be able to offer you couples workshops once again.

In our Imago workshops, the maximum capacity will be about 5-6 couples. In the past, we’ve done a larger amount but due to COVID19 and respecting the parameters of the space and keeping people safe, that’s what we’re going to be doing so please stay tuned!

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

Imago Relationship Therapist

Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP CENTER

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

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Imago relationship therapist Long Island New York

Individuals can use an Imago Relationship Therapist too!

What’s interesting about Imago relationship therapy, is once you have an understanding… Once you read that book, I think you don’t really need to have a partner to understand the dynamics of what Harville & Helen are talking about in it. Once you open yourself up to this knowledge base, you can’t shove it all back in. What I’d like to note is that as an Imago relationship therapist, I can also show individuals the same information to help themselves.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

Everything is relational.

How are you feeding into it?
How are you recreating your childhood dynamics?

I always recommend reading the book by the creators of Imago relationship therapy called, Getting The Love You Want, which is a fantastic book. My husband Don and I also do workshops for couples in Long Island, NY.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

The key for me as an Imago relationship therapist is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

romantic love

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion ~ Getting The Love You Want Sept. 2019 Workshop ~ Long Island, NY

Romantic love is not an illusion.

We’re our highest selves when we let go of defenses. We think the person who we’re falling in love with is “giving” us these feelings, but actually, it’s our body that is producing them. We are in love with feeling alive. We are in love with the experience of living with an open heart. We are in love with love! And we think it will never end. Who we are in romantic love is not an illusion, but who we really are when we let go of our defenses. We get in touch with the person we were always meant to be.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT COUPLES WORKSHOPS

The New York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love & companionship.

Is your relationship starving for affection, romance & passion?

Do you wish to deepen the relationship, the closeness & the intimacy that once made it so special?

Does it seem like you can’t stop the cycle of anger, blame, arguments & withdrawal?

Do you consistently feel unheard?

Do you wish you argued less & talked more?

Well, it’s time to make important changes in your relationship!

Discover what really lies beneath triggered reactions in romantic partnerships and how to make lasting change. Move into more conscious connection and have the relationship of your dreams.

Learn to effectively communicate, work through conflicts in a skilled way, and be genuinely affectionate with each other.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

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Our partners think & love differently from us - NY Couples Workshops - Getting The Love You Want

Our partners think & love differently from us

Not Like You: our partners think & love differently from us – NY Couples Workshop – Getting The Love You Want

 

Not like you. The person you love won’t look at love or your relationship in exactly the same way that you do. He or she may have very different feelings about how it should be conducted, how you should argue, how and when to make love, even what your relationship means. For your darling, the most important thing about loving you may be that you’re there every day, every night for them to come home to. While for you, the specific kinds of attention you receive: sweet words and flowers, or anniversary presents may mean more than anything else.

You may handle crises in totally different ways. He may go to the gym to work out or you may talk on the phone for hours with your best friend. Understanding that your beloved may not feel the same way and in some sense may not even occupy sometimes, the same relationship as you do, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth in any intimate relationship.

I chose this for a reason because in Imago, we always say that two perceptions, two opinions can exist in the same space. Both are right. As a couple, you are not symbiotic. You are connected, but you do not finish and stop each other’s sentences thinking the same exact way. You may at times be on the same wavelength, but your partner is their own person, as are you.

If you’re struggling figuring out where you are in your relationship, trying to be heard, trying to get validated, trying to learn how to validate, trying to see how our partners think & love differently from us, please attend one of our workshops Getting The Love You Want.

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

​You are what you do daily… so make good habits for yourself and your relationship! “The happiness of most people …

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose your words wisely… Words are an instrument to heal or wound – to connect or separate. Try to think about …

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less …