Category: Couples Therapy

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less and less communication overall. Listening to your partner with neutrality / keeping your defenses down leads to more emotional intimacy — a closeness between two people who feel safe and secure with each other — it is one of the ways that we form trust.

Communication is 50% speaking and 50% listening.

Even if you disagree with what your partner is saying, do you still give them the opportunity to be themselves and tell you how they honestly feel? Listening to your partner with neutrality can be a total game changer in relationships.

Through Imago dialogue, couples can learn how to clearly communicate their desires / frustrations.

If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.

Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.

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David Weber - Holistic Counseling Long Island

Imago relationship therapists on Long Island discuss the benefits of Imago therapy.

Imago relationship therapists, Robin Newman and David Weber, both practicing on Long Island, discuss some of the benefits of Imago therapy.

What made you decide that you wanted to be an Imago therapist and not a regular marriage counselor?

David Weber - The Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island
David Weber:

Well, in my early days of my career, I did regular marriage counseling, and it was essentially being a referee in a boxing ring, and it didn’t really seem like it went anywhere. Could I reach détente with the couple? Yes. Would it evolve beyond that? Not really. I got the feeling that they would have to come in more for ‘tune-ups’ or even more than that, especially if a bigger issue came up.

I found that when I learned about Imago, first off, it made a lot of sense to me, and secondly, once I was able to put it into practice after I completed my training a number of years ago, I found that the couples responded better, at least with empathy and compassion, because they are trying to view their partner through that lens now. Then, I don’t have to play referee as much.

For additional information about the benefits of Imago therapy or visiting The Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island, visit David’s website.

roles in relationships

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships

Long Island Imago Relationship Therapists discuss the bigger issues counseling couples – the differences between mens’ vs. womens’ roles in relationships, and how they might differ according to age and attachment style.

WATCH VIDEO HERE >> https://youtu.be/Rrw_Y4t1RlY

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships:

How much does age affect our perceived roles?

How hard is it to change roles in a relationship?

How genders may gravitate towards maximizer vs. minimizer attachment styles.

THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP THERAPY CENTER

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743

(631) 421-4701

  • Licensed clinical social worker
  • Imago relationship therapist
  • Senior adjunct professor at Adelphi University graduate school of social work

Robin works with couples, families and individuals. She’s successful in guiding patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, family conflicts, and couple’s conflicts.

Imago Relationship Therapists talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

Imago Relationship Therapists talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

Robin Newman, owner of the Huntington Relationship Center, and David Weber, owner of the Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island, talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

WATCH ON YOUTUBE

How do couples split the balance of taking care of / spending time with children?

How do husbands and wives support one another with their careers?

How should couples split responsibilities within the household?

If you are having a difficult time managing work, kids, chores, quality time, etc. and would like to hash out a plan, consider speaking with a counselor who can assist you in creating an outline.

Juggling careers and family is tough. The dual-earner model is now more common than the male breadwinner model. Men and women no longer specialize in one role. Both are involved in paid work and care for children and the elderly. The challenge of this juggling act is to maintain optimal performance at work and at home.

For instance, a parent might leave the office in time to pick up their kid from school, but then, exhausted, lack the energy to listen to their partner while fixing dinner later that night. Or, a person might manage to complete a work report by their deadline but miss out on happy hour and a chance to connect with their colleagues due to responsibilities at home. In other words, juggling multiple roles can put relationships under pressure — because we simply can’t do it all.

Imago Relationship Therapy Specialists Can Help You With Work And Family Dynamics

Serving Nassau & Suffolk County on Long Island

Huntington    Miller Place    West Hempstead

intentional dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy

Intentional Dialogue

The Intentional Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy with Robin Newman, Therapist in Long Island

Tied Up In Knots…

Try to remember this the next time a fight has you tied up in knots.

The best argument has no winner, and nobody gets blamed.

For the best argument is a dialogue, an intentional dialogue, heated perhaps, needled sometimes with anger no doubt, difficult always, between two people whose positions on a given issue are passionately different.

That two people have different opinions about the same thing, is the measure of their uniqueness.

That they express their differences, is a measure of their courage.

That they are willing to listen to someone else’s position, is a measure of their maturity.

And that they are willing to arrive at a solution, is a measure of the strength of their relationship.

An argument is a forum for a passionate dialogue, not a battleground, or the occasion for a firing squad.

The winner of the truly successful argument is never an individual, but the relationship itself.

So much said in a simple amount of prose. When you think about it, it opens up the question of, what is the intentional dialogue in Imago? And how wonderful a tool to be able to use to talk things out, to understand that two opinions can exist in the same space and both are right. And to be able to see your partner’s / family member’s perception through their eyes. To really give them empathy and validation for those feelings.

This really talks about what the Intentional Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy is truly about.

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

Imago Relationship Therapist – Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

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getting the love you want weekend workshop couples therapy long island 2022

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshop 2022

Robin Newman licensed clinical social worker Long Island, marriage counselor

We’re excited to share with you our new dates for our weekend couples counseling workshop, ‘Getting The Love You Want’ in Long Island, New York.

Taking place in Huntington, NY, this intensive couples workshop gets right into it, no messing around. Robin Newman, Imago Relationship Therapist, Social Worker & Owner of the Huntington Relationship Center will be facilitating the event along with her husband, Don.

September 17 & 18, 2022
10 am – 6 pm

Couples’ counseling workshops are 2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York.

Treated as a “bootcamp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

This workshop is designed for married & single couples of all gender & sexual orientations.

Mountainside Huntington

The Getting The Love You Want Workshop will be taking place at:

Mountainside Huntington

141 E. Main Street, Huntington, NY 11743

Mountainside Huntington

Mountainside Huntington is conveniently located in Long Island, New York, and is within easy commuting distance for residents in Suffolk County and Nassau County.

$975.00 per couple

Sign up today to secure your spot: We have limited space since couples break off into private rooms at points to talk privately.

What you will discover in a Getting the Love You Want workshop for couples:

  • Why the very qualities that attracted you to each other now often drive you crazy.
  • How to get to the root of your problems and learn how to dissolve them.
  • How to successfully communicate your frustrations & desires to get your needs met.
  • How you and your partner can express your love and appreciation in ways that work for both of you.
  • Greater compassion and understanding – of both yourself and your partner.
  • How to create fun, romance, passion, and intimacy.
  • How to re-establish the excitement and intimacy of your first months or years together.
  • How to achieve growth and lasting fulfillment – for both of you.

Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist in this intensive weekend couples workshop right here in Long Island, New York

“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”

Have Questions?

Call Robin Newman for additional information on this couples workshop (631) 421-4701

Ready to Sign Up?

Payments for the workshop are made via Venmo to Robin Newman, LCSW

relationship issues

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid

Your Relationship Issues Were There Before Covid with Robin Newman, LCSW in Long Island

So, one of the things that I am finding ‘post-covid’ now that things are opening up more is people coming in individually, not as a couple, to talk about the disillusionment of their relationship and how Covid has put their relationship over the top.

The first thing I say to them is, I need you to check in with yourself, because as much as I do understand that Covid has put your relationship over the top, I’m going to invite you to consider that these issues were all there before covid.

Being locked in with your significant other / wife / husband / girlfriend / boyfriend / partner is going to bring out the ugly stuff because there is no exit.

There’s some healthy exits and there are some unhealthy exits.

Unhealthy Exits:

  • Drinking Too Much
  • Working Too Much
  • Eating Too Much

Healthy Exits:

  • Creating Space For Yourself
  • Having A Balanced Life

I try to explain to people that maybe they need to look inward at what their accountability is in the relationship process and what’s happening. How they have fed into ‘the challenge’ that’s occurring in the relationship and we go from there.

Stay Tuned For Our Next Long Island Couples Workshop Dates!

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC Individual, Couples & Family Therapist
The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center 148 East Main Street Huntington, NY (631) 421-4701

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

Robin Newman, LCSW

ABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN: I am a licensed clinical social worker, Imago relationship therapist, as well as an adjunct professor at the Graduate School of Social Work at Adelphi University. I’m a contributing therapist to Ladies Home Journal Magazine, “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” and the online magazine “Parenting Special Needs, Relationship Rescue”.

I work with couples, families and individuals. I’m successful in guiding my patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, and/or family conflicts. The key for me is always in the patient who has the courage and openness to heal. We all have wounds that can hold us back from creating satisfying relationships. It is a privilege and a blessing to be invited into the lives of others and assist them in having a more productive and healed life.

couples counseling imago relationship therapist NY

Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center

Dealing with the grief of a broken marriage is a turbulent time where the very foundation of your life is being uprooted, finances are diminishing, social pressures abound, and everything feels completely disoriented.

Depression is a common side-effect and comes with the territory of losing your stability — even if the marriage was on rocky ground to begin with and even if you were the one to file the papers.

Like any breakup, it can take a long time to recover.

Since each individual and situation is different, there is no formula for how to move on from such a devastating experience. You should take as much time as you need, but here are a few suggestions that might help speed the recovery from your divorce.

Expressing your feelings in a safe and secure place can be a significant stress release.

Consider speaking with the Huntington Relationship Center about divorce recovery counseling. We can figure out a healthy way for you to cope with changes, and how to develop an exciting future for yourself.

Understand and appreciate you are part of a new world.

Open your eyes to new adventures and friends. You may find your interests change or you’ll have a desire to do something you never really thought about before. This is a time of self-exploration.

Allow yourself the time to grieve.

No matter how miserable or terrible your marriage ended or how bitter the divorce became, it is normal to feel a sense of loss once it’s done. Your ex-spouse was a big part of your life and it’s typical to feel remorse — even if you have spent the past several months or years already feeling it. This is a normal part of the breakup process.

If you are thinking of divorce or you are already divorced and looking for support, please reach out to the Huntington Relationship Center for more info. about counseling near you.

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break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently in? How do you know when a relationship is over?

Well, there’s many answers to this, and it’s quite nuanced to our individual lives, but here’s a very small list of signs that your relationship may be on the road to a break up.

1. You tend to tolerate more than you would with anyone else.

Now, in relationships, we’ll always be finding new ways to compromise, and tolerating your significant other’s silly habits or quirks, well, that’s pretty normal. This is stuff like not putting away dishes or leaving the front door unlocked or something annoying but insignificant.

But for example, if a friend or co-worker is constantly putting you down or finding new ways to make you feel self-conscious, you would probably stop communicating with those people, right? What if your partner constantly hurt your feelings or did things in spite of how badly you felt about them? If you’re in a relationship where your partner is consistently criticizing everything you do or making you feel worse about most things, evaluate if you react differently to your partner versus the rest of the world when it comes to how they treat you.

2. You do not have aligned life goals.

When you first got together with your partner, did you ever discuss whether it was just for fun’s sake or if you had other visions in mind? I.E. creating a family, owning a home, getting married, or something deeper? Do you think you have compatible life goals with your partner? For example, if one person wants children and the other person does not, this is a valid reason to consider leaving a relationship.

You both aren’t working towards a similar goal to keep you marching in the same direction as a team. When two people share a similar long term goal, they generally have a better chance at staying together. If two people have contrasting views on how they want their future to look like, this could eventually start to divide the commonality in a couple.

3. There’s a lack of attention from one or both people in a couple.

In order to give a plant the best chance of growing and thriving, it needs its basic ingredients: water, sun, and soil. This goes for couples in the same way. A relationship needs nurturing, time and attention to make it successfully satisfying.

What does this mean? In your relationship, do you have planned outings together? Are you going on dates still? Or taking vacations / staycations together? How are you both ‘sowing’ your relationship seed? If one person is always tending to the health of the relationship and the other person does nothing about it, this seems as if the lopsidedness of care will eventually make the one person who’s trying to help, give up. Let’s face it, all relationships take constant work. Make sure that you both are doing whatever is needed to make your connection stay strong.

These are just 3 common aspects that may indicate that a break up could be a possibility. Don’t let this sway you into giving up automatically, we can all change if we decide we want to and are given the right tools to do so.

If you’re struggling with whether to work on your relationship or leave, consider talking with a couples counselor before making any sudden movements. You can work out all the insecurities you have, as well as get a chance to talk about your concerns in a 100% confidential and judgement free space.

Contact Robin Newman for more information on counseling near you.

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non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a person feels, if they’re being genuine with us, or what kind of mood someone is in without them saying anything about it to us. Just the ‘vibe’ someone displays says a thousand words.

Making and maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and bodily gestures are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Our non-verbal communication that we display to our partner is imperative to pay attention to. For example, if a loved one is coming to you with an issue, how you non-verbally listen and respond can change the dynamics between you from a moment of defense & arguing to a moment of clarity & progression.

No marriage or relationship is free from disagreements. However, you can prevent a disagreement from turning into a full blown out argument with good communication, both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbal communication actually plays an essential role in verbal communication.

Here’s a checklist to see if you are projecting any negativity into your relationship:

  1. Am I rolling my eyes?
  2. Do I have my arms crossed?
  3. Am I looking at my phone?
  4. Am I condescending?
  5. Do I sound like a know-it-all?
We all can evaluate what we project into the world through our actions and words.

If you want a new reaction from your partner, try a new action yourself. Take on a different stance; see how the dynamics between you change.

Or the next time you’re in public, smile towards a stranger and mean it! See how your non-verbal communication changes the things around you.

In marriage and relationships, we need to understand that nonverbal communication plays a huge role in feelings of security, as well as creating a feeling of connection and affection.

If you are interested in learning more about counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less …

David Weber - Holistic Counseling Long Island

Imago relationship therapists on Long Island discuss the benefits of Imago therapy.

Imago relationship therapists, Robin Newman and David Weber, both practicing on Long Island, discuss some of the benefits …

roles in relationships

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships

Long Island Imago Relationship Therapists discuss the bigger issues counseling couples – the differences between mens’ …