Category: <span>Couples Therapy</span>

baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships. Simply put, baggage is the collection of unpleasant memories from the past that continue to negatively affect our perception / behavior in the present. How and why do we bring baggage into our relationships from the past?

baggage in relationships - protective behavior

Unmet Needs:

Each of these developmental tasks must be met or we will not feel secure:

Attachment: I’m connected to my caretakers and can depend upon them.

Exploration: I can leave Mom & Dad and come back. I’m not smothered.

Identity I am secure in who I am. I don’t have to be like anyone else.

Competency: I can reach for my dreams and find success without shame.

Lost Parts:

We’re born with four beautiful ways to connect to others:

Thinking: I can have my own ideas.
Sensing: It’s okay to explore my body.
Feeling: I can have feelings that are different from yours.
Acting: I can show my feelings.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times
For more info. on relationship counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701 therapistlongisland@gmail.com

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Imago Relationship Therapy founders

Marriage (even for marriage experts) is never easy.

Imago therapy is a highly effective form of relationship and couples therapy that has positively affected thousands of couples around the world. This transformational method of therapy was developed 25 years ago by Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, and provides resources for couples & individuals seeking to find a way to be more effective in their life and relationships.

Just like any other couple, Harville & Helen experienced a power struggle where they attempted to change each other to be “more like me.”

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

A critical comment would degenerate into loud arguments.

Blaming each other was a common focus of conversation.

After a decade of marriage, they found themselves teetering on the brink of divorce. They started to lose hope that their relationship would survive.

Facing the inevitable, they decided to give one last try and commit to doing everything possible to salvage their relationship.

Harville & Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples & families by a creating relational culture that supports universal equality and effective communication.

It offers communication tools that will allow both people to feel safe & connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

stay in connection - Huntington Relationship Therapy

Stay in connection 2020

Stay in connection 2020 – Huntington Relationship Center – Imago Relationship Therapy

Humans are social animals: We crave feeling supported, valued and connected.

Research points to the benefits of social connection: in one compelling study, a key difference between very happy people and less happy people was good relationships.

Communicate to help manage anxiety and stress.

During this time of sheltering in place / being quarantined under the same roof, it’s highly possible that stress, anxiety and depression might start to get the best of us. If it happens to you, know that it’s perfectly normal, especially under these chaotic circumstances.

That’s why it’s so important to stay in connection during these uncertain times. No one should struggle alone. If you find that you could use someone to talk to or you know someone who is in need of assistance, contact the Huntington Relationship Center today.

As a Long Island social worker, Robin welcomes couples, families, and individuals to her office:
148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps individuals and couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy. (631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Heightened Stress in 2020 - Counseling Services for NYers - Robin Newman, LCSW

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling for NYers

Heightened Stress in 2020 – Counseling Services for NYers – Robin Newman, LCSW

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead. During these stressful times, counseling can be very helpful.

Surviving Heightened Stress in 2020:

Maintain your emotional support system. If you don’t have any, find a licensed therapist who will be that for you. These are the people you can vent your frustration with and share your successes with.

Talking about what’s happening to you is the best way to defuse your feelings and symptoms. Allow yourself to cry. It releases feelings and tension. Get feedback and advice from a professional NY counselor.

Value and protect yourself. Try to exercise. Exercise releases tension in the muscles and reduces the effects of anxiety. Eat right and get your sleep. If you’re run down, you won’t be efficient or function at the intellectual level required to get good grades, do good at work, take care of your kids. Stress degrades the first line of defense in our immune system and prolonged stress usually leads to illness.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples & individuals break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

romantic love

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion

Romantic Love Is Not An Illusion ~ Getting The Love You Want Sept. 2019 Workshop ~ Long Island, NY

Romantic love is not an illusion.

We’re our highest selves when we let go of defenses. We think the person who we’re falling in love with is “giving” us these feelings, but actually, it’s our body that is producing them. We are in love with feeling alive. We are in love with the experience of living with an open heart. We are in love with love! And we think it will never end. Who we are in romantic love is not an illusion, but who we really are when we let go of our defenses. We get in touch with the person we were always meant to be.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT COUPLES WORKSHOPS

The New York Times bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love & companionship.

Is your relationship starving for affection, romance & passion?

Do you wish to deepen the relationship, the closeness & the intimacy that once made it so special?

Does it seem like you can’t stop the cycle of anger, blame, arguments & withdrawal?

Do you consistently feel unheard?

Do you wish you argued less & talked more?

Well, it’s time to make important changes in your relationship!

Discover what really lies beneath triggered reactions in romantic partnerships and how to make lasting change. Move into more conscious connection and have the relationship of your dreams.

Learn to effectively communicate, work through conflicts in a skilled way, and be genuinely affectionate with each other.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

bootcamp couples therapy

Getting Through Hard Times

It’s easy to love when we are blissfully happy, when we are in love and everything is running smoothly, but love is tested in hard times developed in crisis and reaches its full maturity when unexpected tragedies unfold. So, although we never seek or welcome tragedy, we need to remember that there is a hidden jewel stitched into the hem of its garment. Getting through hard times invites the enlargement of love in us, and stretches us beyond our limits, so that we find that our love expands.

“In conflict, there is growth.”

Invest In Your Love ~ Try a (private) weekend workshop of couples’ therapy.

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with getting through hard times and moving ahead.

Couples’ counseling intensives are 1 1/2 days on the weekend in Huntington, New York. Treated as a “boot camp” for couples who wish to improve communication, intimacy, and understanding. Robin & Don teach couples specific communication techniques that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Long Island couples therapist - getting through hard times

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW today.

Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Allow yourself to be fully seen by your partner.

Allow yourself to be fully seen by your partner.

Allow yourself to be fully seen by your partner. Couples workshops with Robin Newman, LCSW.

Really being seen.

We feel loved when we feel seen, deeply perceived, and validated. When another human being responds to us, we feel understood.

Being able to be seen requires being vulnerable. It means that we reveal ourselves or that we put ourselves in such close proximity to another human being that he/she can really see us. Some of us are afraid of being seen. We don’t want our secrets to show. We’re afraid that having disclosed the inner reaches of ourselves, we won’t feel safe or be loved.

Others of us are afraid of not being seen – remaining forever invisible and unacknowledged. Today, reveal something to the person you love, which in the past you have kept hidden. Then allow yourself to see something in them which previously was overlooked or ignored.

Intimacy grows when we are seeing, when we allow ourselves to truly behold one another.

One of the beautiful things about Imago Relationship Therapy is we practice safety and we help you to be seen by your partner and have you to be able to see your partner as well. During our Getting The Love You Want workshops, we give you the tools to help one another.

Do you feel like you’re stuck? Do you feel frustrated? Do you desperately want to connect with your partner, but don’t understand how to do that because you’re afraid of being vulnerable? What’s beautiful about the workshop is it will teach you all of these things. Allow us to help you to be seen in a safe place and go home with tools to connect with your partner.

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

TherapistLongIsland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Our partners think & love differently from us - NY Couples Workshops - Getting The Love You Want

Our partners think & love differently from us

Not Like You: our partners think & love differently from us – NY Couples Workshop – Getting The Love You Want

 

Not like you. The person you love won’t look at love or your relationship in exactly the same way that you do. He or she may have very different feelings about how it should be conducted, how you should argue, how and when to make love, even what your relationship means. For your darling, the most important thing about loving you may be that you’re there every day, every night for them to come home to. While for you, the specific kinds of attention you receive: sweet words and flowers, or anniversary presents may mean more than anything else.

You may handle crises in totally different ways. He may go to the gym to work out or you may talk on the phone for hours with your best friend. Understanding that your beloved may not feel the same way and in some sense may not even occupy sometimes, the same relationship as you do, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth in any intimate relationship.

I chose this for a reason because in Imago, we always say that two perceptions, two opinions can exist in the same space. Both are right. As a couple, you are not symbiotic. You are connected, but you do not finish and stop each other’s sentences thinking the same exact way. You may at times be on the same wavelength, but your partner is their own person, as are you.

If you’re struggling figuring out where you are in your relationship, trying to be heard, trying to get validated, trying to learn how to validate, trying to see how our partners think & love differently from us, please attend one of our workshops Getting The Love You Want.

GTLYW Workshop Feb 21 & 22, 2020

Are we really drawn to partners like our parents?

Couples Workshop February 2020: Are we really drawn to partners like our parents?

Our parents’ business: No person is without a history or context. We are all living out untold, unfinished emotional legacies passed down to us by our parents as conscious discovering individuals. We must live our way through all the things they have not resolved until having come to the place where we have transformed their tragedies and our childhoods. We can finally emerge as ourselves. How do we emerge as ourselves?

Drawn to partners like our parents.

Typically, we are drawn to people that remind us unconsciously of our caregivers. So in a way, we’re trying to push forward to connect with some sort of resolution of whatever it is that hurt us. What is your mother’s unresolved problem? What is your father’s unresolved issue? How have you taken on their unfinished business?

Give your parents’ problems back to them by looking into your future and focusing on what you need to accomplish in your own life.

It’s not your parents’ fault that they did to you what their parents did to them. We always say that in Imago Relationship Therapy. Your parents did the best job they could. But how do we stop ourselves from recreating fractures in relationships that they may have had with one another?

And with this, we’d like to invite you to our next workshop – Getting The Love You Want is like a relationship boot camp for two days. Here is where you learn to see yourself and your partner in a true light and new perspective. Learn to communicate effectively and transform your relationship into a powerful connection with one another.

Don and I very excited to be holding the next Getting The Love You Want couples workshop in Melville, NY on February 21st & 22nd.

Invest In Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapist: drawn to partners like our parentsRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

TherapistLongIsland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

Couples Workshop Feb 21 & 22, 2020

Couples Workshops for 2020

Couples Workshops for 2020: February 21 & 22, March 21 & 22, April 18 & 19, May 16 & 17

 

Love is the crucible, the un-meltable, changeless container in which we’re tested by fire, melted down, and transformed. In love, we are formed and reformed by the white heat of unexpected re-visitation of all the things in us that cry out to be healed, most of which is our shame and hurt, our fears, our insecurities, our conflicts and our endless inner controversies. Through our beloved, our partner, we are once again brought face to face with what is unresolved in us. We meet again our father’s absence or our brother’s envy, our mother’s cruelty or our sister’s competition. We see our own childhoods mirrored in every direction in all of our relationships. Through love, we are invited to reenter them again but differently. To re-experience and grieve the losses of the past and thus to redeem and heal now.

Hello, I’m Robin Newman and I’m a certified Imago relationship therapist. I’m an LCSW and an adjunct professor at the Adelphi school of social work. I hold, with my husband, Getting The Love You Want workshops on Long Island. I’m very, very happy to announce that we have our dates up for 2020 and those dates are:

  • February 21st & 22nd
  • March 21st & 22nd
  • April 18th & 19th
  • May 16th & 17th

If you are looking to work on your relationship, or if any part of this reading resonated with you, consider attending our next couples workshop. Click here to purchase February 2020 tickets.

Couples Workshops for 2020 – Invest in Your Love

A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it’s obvious for it to have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how couples deal with the rough patches and move ahead.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Long Island couples therapist - Couples Workshops for 2020Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

TherapistLongIsland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

< Watch Robin Newman on YouTube >

anger management counseling

Anger Management: Symptoms & Triggers

Anger is a natural response humans have to certain situations, and it should in no way be something we’re ashamed of. …

counseling for low self-esteem

Counseling for low self-esteem.

Self-esteem determines the value we put on ourselves: our talents, abilities, and personal existence. In other words, it …

baggage in relationships

How we bring baggage into our relationships.

Emotional baggage is what people often carry into relationships. Simply put, baggage is the collection of unpleasant memories …