Category: Therapy

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose your words wisely… Words are an instrument to heal or wound – to connect or separate.

Try to think about the words you use with your partner this week… Do they heal or wound, connect or separate?

The traumatizing and/or healing effect that words can have on people.. especially when in a committed relationship, can make or break the longevity of a couple.

Words that are compassionate and non-judgmental have the power to calm, soothe, and re-ground us.

They activate our social engagement response, helping us to feel safely connected to other people. This has the effect of reducing fears, anxiety, and a sense of isolation.

Words can de-escalate a flight-fight response, enabling us to successfully navigate challenges rather than wildly striking out or fleeing.

Loving words of encouragement give us hope, enhance self-esteem, and enable us to take healthy risks in life that allow for ongoing personal and professional growth.

So please take the time to notice the words you use when interacting with others. Ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say to my child, my partner, my co-worker, the stranger in line ahead of me, kind or unkind?” “What impact will my words have on this person?”

And keep in mind that when you text or e-mail, tone of voice, emotion, animation, body language, and facial expressions are all missing. Therefore, your word choice is even more important as it is the sole way in which your message will be communicated and received.

original source

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less and less communication overall. Listening to your partner with neutrality / keeping your defenses down leads to more emotional intimacy — a closeness between two people who feel safe and secure with each other — it is one of the ways that we form trust.

Communication is 50% speaking and 50% listening.

Even if you disagree with what your partner is saying, do you still give them the opportunity to be themselves and tell you how they honestly feel? Listening to your partner with neutrality can be a total game changer in relationships.

Through Imago dialogue, couples can learn how to clearly communicate their desires / frustrations.

If you feel that your relationship is lacking intimacy, I highly encourage you to look into the Imago Dialogue. As an Imago Relationship Therapist, I help guide couples who struggle for re-connection to find their way, develop better communication skills, and fully be heard and understood. Once this happens, couples open up, their hearts open, and their relationships are revived with a new hope and feeling of intimacy with one another.

Effective communication is really the lubrication to your relationship. It matters to both partners to have the freedom and safety to express their concerns/resentments/issues and fully be heard.

~ Subscribe to the Huntington Relationship Center on YouTube ~

David Weber - Holistic Counseling Long Island

Imago relationship therapists on Long Island discuss the benefits of Imago therapy.

Imago relationship therapists, Robin Newman and David Weber, both practicing on Long Island, discuss some of the benefits of Imago therapy.

What made you decide that you wanted to be an Imago therapist and not a regular marriage counselor?

David Weber - The Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island
David Weber:

Well, in my early days of my career, I did regular marriage counseling, and it was essentially being a referee in a boxing ring, and it didn’t really seem like it went anywhere. Could I reach détente with the couple? Yes. Would it evolve beyond that? Not really. I got the feeling that they would have to come in more for ‘tune-ups’ or even more than that, especially if a bigger issue came up.

I found that when I learned about Imago, first off, it made a lot of sense to me, and secondly, once I was able to put it into practice after I completed my training a number of years ago, I found that the couples responded better, at least with empathy and compassion, because they are trying to view their partner through that lens now. Then, I don’t have to play referee as much.

For additional information about the benefits of Imago therapy or visiting The Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island, visit David’s website.

roles in relationships

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships

Long Island Imago Relationship Therapists discuss the bigger issues counseling couples – the differences between mens’ vs. womens’ roles in relationships, and how they might differ according to age and attachment style.

WATCH VIDEO HERE >> https://youtu.be/Rrw_Y4t1RlY

Mens’ vs. Womens’ Roles in Relationships:

How much does age affect our perceived roles?

How hard is it to change roles in a relationship?

How genders may gravitate towards maximizer vs. minimizer attachment styles.

THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP THERAPY CENTER

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743

(631) 421-4701

  • Licensed clinical social worker
  • Imago relationship therapist
  • Senior adjunct professor at Adelphi University graduate school of social work

Robin works with couples, families and individuals. She’s successful in guiding patients through anxiety, depression, self-esteem challenges, addictions, family conflicts, and couple’s conflicts.

Imago Relationship Therapists talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

Imago Relationship Therapists talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

Robin Newman, owner of the Huntington Relationship Center, and David Weber, owner of the Holistic Counseling Center of Long Island, talk about work and family dynamics in relationships / marriages.

WATCH ON YOUTUBE

How do couples split the balance of taking care of / spending time with children?

How do husbands and wives support one another with their careers?

How should couples split responsibilities within the household?

If you are having a difficult time managing work, kids, chores, quality time, etc. and would like to hash out a plan, consider speaking with a counselor who can assist you in creating an outline.

Juggling careers and family is tough. The dual-earner model is now more common than the male breadwinner model. Men and women no longer specialize in one role. Both are involved in paid work and care for children and the elderly. The challenge of this juggling act is to maintain optimal performance at work and at home.

For instance, a parent might leave the office in time to pick up their kid from school, but then, exhausted, lack the energy to listen to their partner while fixing dinner later that night. Or, a person might manage to complete a work report by their deadline but miss out on happy hour and a chance to connect with their colleagues due to responsibilities at home. In other words, juggling multiple roles can put relationships under pressure — because we simply can’t do it all.

Imago Relationship Therapy Specialists Can Help You With Work And Family Dynamics

Serving Nassau & Suffolk County on Long Island

Huntington    Miller Place    West Hempstead

imago relationship therapy for parents and children Long Island

Imago Relationship Therapy for Parents and Children

Imago Relationship Therapy for Parents and Children with Long Island Therapist Robin Newman, LCSW

Imago relationship therapy can be used for families, couples, and individuals. Imago therapists are trained to provide support to people dealing with issues such as ongoing conflict, ineffective communication, blended families, in-laws, empty nest syndrome, addictions, sexuality, negative relationship patterns and much much more.

Imago Relationship Therapy for Parents and Children: If you are experiencing negative, repetitive issues within your family and can’t find a solution, consider speaking with an Imago therapist.

Therapy can help families with:

  • identifying the cycles that lead them to approach each other in ways that keep the problems going.
  • addressing any underlying needs that are being unmet.
  • communicating with one another to keep from getting caught up in conflict in the future.
  • forging a closer, more intimate connection with one another.

Robin Newman, LCSW, provides in-person therapy for children, adolescents, and adults who may be struggling with a wide range of challenges. Her office is located in Suffolk County, Long Island:

THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP CENTER
148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743

Contact Robin online or by calling (631) 421-4701 to set up an appointment today.

Follow The Huntington Relationship Center on Facebook!

intentional dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy

Intentional Dialogue

The Intentional Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy with Robin Newman, Therapist in Long Island

Tied Up In Knots…

Try to remember this the next time a fight has you tied up in knots.

The best argument has no winner, and nobody gets blamed.

For the best argument is a dialogue, an intentional dialogue, heated perhaps, needled sometimes with anger no doubt, difficult always, between two people whose positions on a given issue are passionately different.

That two people have different opinions about the same thing, is the measure of their uniqueness.

That they express their differences, is a measure of their courage.

That they are willing to listen to someone else’s position, is a measure of their maturity.

And that they are willing to arrive at a solution, is a measure of the strength of their relationship.

An argument is a forum for a passionate dialogue, not a battleground, or the occasion for a firing squad.

The winner of the truly successful argument is never an individual, but the relationship itself.

So much said in a simple amount of prose. When you think about it, it opens up the question of, what is the intentional dialogue in Imago? And how wonderful a tool to be able to use to talk things out, to understand that two opinions can exist in the same space and both are right. And to be able to see your partner’s / family member’s perception through their eyes. To really give them empathy and validation for those feelings.

This really talks about what the Intentional Dialogue in Imago Relationship Therapy is truly about.

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC

Imago Relationship Therapist – Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

Follow The Huntington Relationship Center on YouTube

couples counseling imago relationship therapist NY

Divorce Recovery Counseling

Divorce Recovery Counseling in Long Island, New York with the Huntington Relationship Center

Dealing with the grief of a broken marriage is a turbulent time where the very foundation of your life is being uprooted, finances are diminishing, social pressures abound, and everything feels completely disoriented.

Depression is a common side-effect and comes with the territory of losing your stability — even if the marriage was on rocky ground to begin with and even if you were the one to file the papers.

Like any breakup, it can take a long time to recover.

Since each individual and situation is different, there is no formula for how to move on from such a devastating experience. You should take as much time as you need, but here are a few suggestions that might help speed the recovery from your divorce.

Expressing your feelings in a safe and secure place can be a significant stress release.

Consider speaking with the Huntington Relationship Center about divorce recovery counseling. We can figure out a healthy way for you to cope with changes, and how to develop an exciting future for yourself.

Understand and appreciate you are part of a new world.

Open your eyes to new adventures and friends. You may find your interests change or you’ll have a desire to do something you never really thought about before. This is a time of self-exploration.

Allow yourself the time to grieve.

No matter how miserable or terrible your marriage ended or how bitter the divorce became, it is normal to feel a sense of loss once it’s done. Your ex-spouse was a big part of your life and it’s typical to feel remorse — even if you have spent the past several months or years already feeling it. This is a normal part of the breakup process.

If you are thinking of divorce or you are already divorced and looking for support, please reach out to the Huntington Relationship Center for more info. about counseling near you.

Like us on Facebook

break up in relationships

When is it time to break up?

What should you do if you’re in doubt about whether you should stay or leave the relationship you’re currently in? How do you know when a relationship is over?

Well, there’s many answers to this, and it’s quite nuanced to our individual lives, but here’s a very small list of signs that your relationship may be on the road to a break up.

1. You tend to tolerate more than you would with anyone else.

Now, in relationships, we’ll always be finding new ways to compromise, and tolerating your significant other’s silly habits or quirks, well, that’s pretty normal. This is stuff like not putting away dishes or leaving the front door unlocked or something annoying but insignificant.

But for example, if a friend or co-worker is constantly putting you down or finding new ways to make you feel self-conscious, you would probably stop communicating with those people, right? What if your partner constantly hurt your feelings or did things in spite of how badly you felt about them? If you’re in a relationship where your partner is consistently criticizing everything you do or making you feel worse about most things, evaluate if you react differently to your partner versus the rest of the world when it comes to how they treat you.

2. You do not have aligned life goals.

When you first got together with your partner, did you ever discuss whether it was just for fun’s sake or if you had other visions in mind? I.E. creating a family, owning a home, getting married, or something deeper? Do you think you have compatible life goals with your partner? For example, if one person wants children and the other person does not, this is a valid reason to consider leaving a relationship.

You both aren’t working towards a similar goal to keep you marching in the same direction as a team. When two people share a similar long term goal, they generally have a better chance at staying together. If two people have contrasting views on how they want their future to look like, this could eventually start to divide the commonality in a couple.

3. There’s a lack of attention from one or both people in a couple.

In order to give a plant the best chance of growing and thriving, it needs its basic ingredients: water, sun, and soil. This goes for couples in the same way. A relationship needs nurturing, time and attention to make it successfully satisfying.

What does this mean? In your relationship, do you have planned outings together? Are you going on dates still? Or taking vacations / staycations together? How are you both ‘sowing’ your relationship seed? If one person is always tending to the health of the relationship and the other person does nothing about it, this seems as if the lopsidedness of care will eventually make the one person who’s trying to help, give up. Let’s face it, all relationships take constant work. Make sure that you both are doing whatever is needed to make your connection stay strong.

These are just 3 common aspects that may indicate that a break up could be a possibility. Don’t let this sway you into giving up automatically, we can all change if we decide we want to and are given the right tools to do so.

If you’re struggling with whether to work on your relationship or leave, consider talking with a couples counselor before making any sudden movements. You can work out all the insecurities you have, as well as get a chance to talk about your concerns in a 100% confidential and judgement free space.

Contact Robin Newman for more information on counseling near you.

Watch Robin on Facebook!

non-verbal communication - couples counseling NY

Non-Verbal Communication in Relationships

Non-verbal communication is the messages we send to others that don’t include words. We can tell a lot about how a person feels, if they’re being genuine with us, or what kind of mood someone is in without them saying anything about it to us. Just the ‘vibe’ someone displays says a thousand words.

Making and maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and bodily gestures are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Our non-verbal communication that we display to our partner is imperative to pay attention to. For example, if a loved one is coming to you with an issue, how you non-verbally listen and respond can change the dynamics between you from a moment of defense & arguing to a moment of clarity & progression.

No marriage or relationship is free from disagreements. However, you can prevent a disagreement from turning into a full blown out argument with good communication, both verbally and non-verbally. Nonverbal communication actually plays an essential role in verbal communication.

Here’s a checklist to see if you are projecting any negativity into your relationship:

  1. Am I rolling my eyes?
  2. Do I have my arms crossed?
  3. Am I looking at my phone?
  4. Am I condescending?
  5. Do I sound like a know-it-all?
We all can evaluate what we project into the world through our actions and words.

If you want a new reaction from your partner, try a new action yourself. Take on a different stance; see how the dynamics between you change.

Or the next time you’re in public, smile towards a stranger and mean it! See how your non-verbal communication changes the things around you.

In marriage and relationships, we need to understand that nonverbal communication plays a huge role in feelings of security, as well as creating a feeling of connection and affection.

If you are interested in learning more about counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

Your daily habits define relationship longevity.

​You are what you do daily… so make good habits for yourself and your relationship! “The happiness of most people …

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose Your Words Wisely

Choose your words wisely… Words are an instrument to heal or wound – to connect or separate. Try to think about …

couples counseling - communication techniques

Listening To Your Partner With Neutrality

Robin Newman and David Weber discuss how they see couples shut down communicating with one another, and how it leads to less …