Category: Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapist Long Island

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained by Robin Newman, LCSW

Every couple starts off the same way with an intentional dialogue: Knee to Knee. Heart to Heart. Eye to Eye.

You must face each other during an important dialogue. It’s very important to check in. Ask if now is a good time to talk with your partner. And if it isn’t, make an appointment. Remember to speak in the “I” and not in the “You.” One topic should only be used. It shouldn’t be a laundry list of things that are going wrong. Below are the key steps with intentional dialogue.

MIRRORING

Once your partner is done speaking to you, you mirror back what they have said. This isn’t only good for the sender to hear, but it’s also good for the receiver, to make sure that they heard and comprehended the message as intended from the sender.

SUMMARY

The receiver then summarizes what their partner said.

VALIDATION

You don’t have to let go of what you believe to validate someone else’s feelings. You are two separate people. Understand what the validation does. Hearing that your partner “gets it.”

EMPATHY

Understand how that makes your partner feel. Step into their shoes for a second and really try to see it through their lens.

Then you two switch from being the sender to the receiver, and vice versa.

The truth of any situation sort of sits in the middle.. Feelings are not facts. So remember, clear communication is absolutely necessary to understand your partner’s feelings and thoughts.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC
Individual, Couples & Family Therapist

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

For more information on counseling, contact Robin Newman today.

Intentional Dialogue - Long Island couples' therapistRobin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

therapistlongisland@gmail.com

(631) 421-4701

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Family Counseling Huntington

Stress Counseling with LCSW Robin Newman

We all know (in our rational / prefrontal brain) that stress isn’t a good thing in anxiety, but yet we still do it, right? We still feel it..

So it’s going into that second place and saying, okay, I know it’s not good, so maybe I need to try looking at it from this perspective in order to reframe it so that it benefits me. Instead of sitting in the victim, because that’s a crappy place to be. It doesn’t work.

So many of our patients / clients come to see us who are in that place. They just feel like they’ve lost control, that they’re powerless, and they don’t know what to do.

Robin & Don

“My mission is to create a new way to love and to transform the world, one relationship at a time. I am committed to using Imago theory and practices to help all interested people create and sustain mutually fulfilling, healing relationships.”

Stress Counseling with LCSW Robin Newman

Contact for more information on counseling services or our upcoming couples workshops.

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Irrational Beliefs Theory

Irrational Beliefs Theory

The Becks Model – Underlying Schema

Early experiences, subconscious thoughts, unconscious thoughts, things again, that family and culture have taught us that we carry with us into a cognitive distortion.

So he agreed with Ellis, and believed in his irrational beliefs theory.

Albert Ellis was an American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. He held MA and PhD degrees in clinical psychology from Columbia University and the American Board of Professional Psychology.

I’ll tell you right now that Beck was not a fan of Freud. It’s more thinking in the present as opposed to thinking through time.

So you know how he has said that depression is anger turned inward? He totally disputes that. He thinks that depression is the person’s negative thinking.

ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R at Adelphi University

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behavioral therapy Long Island

BEHAVIORAL THERAPY: It’s a theory, but it’s a therapy.

Burrhus Frederic Skinner, commonly known as B.F. Skinner, was an American psychologist, behaviorist, author, inventor, and social philosopher who touched upon behavioral therapy.

So what does Skinner say? Behaviors are learned. Behavioral therapy believes that behavior can be unlearned.

Change is really hard. So this therapy is a learning process.

What it’s focusing on is teaching the clients that they can gain mastery over their lives while also increasing self esteem through their own actions.

So who came before Skinner? Pavlov started first.

The food.. The bell.. The salivating.. He did it with dogs.

So if you were to do a behavioral assessment, it would be an evaluation of the behaviors that need to be increased or shaped.

So what does that tell you? It’s a reward based system, isn’t it? It’s not a negative.

We’re sort of viewed as the consultant as a behavior therapist. You’re also known as a teacher and as a trainer. That helps the patient / client to learn about themselves and incorporating your coping skills.

Behavior therapy is great with the special needs population.

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compassion

Tara Brach

“Imagine you are walking in the woods and you see a small dog sitting by a tree. As you approach it, it suddenly lunges at you, teeth bared. You are frightened and angry. But then you notice that one of its legs is caught in a trap. Immediately your mood shifts from anger to concern: You see that the dog’s aggression is coming from a place of vulnerability and pain. This applies to all of us. When we behave in hurtful ways, it is because we are caught in some kind of trap. The more we look through the eyes of wisdom at ourselves and one another, the more we cultivate a compassionate heart.”

– Tara Brach

Empathy is directly related to one’s satisfaction with a romantic partner, and therefore, most approaches to couples therapy explicitly address empathy as a means for creating positive relational change.

When faced with a disagreement, how do you usually react?

Are you able to see / hear your partner’s views with an open mind?

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is practiced at The Huntington Relationship Center in Long Island, NY. Imago is a form of marriage therapy that takes a relationship approach rather than an individual approach to problem solving in a marriage. It was co-developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, and documented in Hendrix’s 1988 book, “Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples.”

Contact Robin Newman today to find out more.

Harville Hendrix quote

Harville Hendrix

Consciousness is Key –

When we are unaware of the unconscious agenda of romantic love, it is a disaster, for our childhood scenarios inevitably repeat themselves with the same devastating consequences. There is method to this madness, though. The unconscious recreation of the ambiance of childhood has the express purpose of bringing this old impasse to a resolution.

When we understand that we have chosen our partners to heal certain wounds, and that the healing of those wounds is the key to the end of longing, we have taken the first step on the journey to real love.

Read more about marriage counseling at our Long Island location.

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couples workshop JAN 26 & 27, 2019

“Selective Abstraction”

Selective Abstraction – another cognitive error.

Licensed social worker, Robin Newman, LCSW, speaking about selective abstraction at her class at Adelphi University, Graduate School of Social Work

ONE DETAIL can get taken out of context between two people – the story goes south and becomes a total experience. Don’t let this small detail get in the way of the bigger picture!

We invite you to our Long Island couples workshop!

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT
LONG ISLAND COUPLES WORKSHOP

January 26 & 27, 2019
10-7:30 / 10-6:00

Spice Up Your Relationship & Reconnect With Your Partner

Make a good relationship better, heal a broken relationship, or prevent a new relationship from potential pitfalls. This workshop can make all the difference!

The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center
148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743
(631) 421-4701

“My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

ABOUT ROBIN NEWMAN

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops - JAN FEB MAR 2019

Join us for our next couples workshop!

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops – JAN FEB MAR 2019

Rediscover the joy you once had in your relationship.
Renew the vision for your relationship.
Restore the passion in your love life.

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops – JAN, FEB, MAR 2019

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC “My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

Don’t miss it! If you are struggling to find clarity and connection with your partner, this workshop will give you the tools to succeed. This is a 100% supportive space.

Please call (631) 421-4701 or email to register.

148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743

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REBT theory explained by Robin Newman, LCSW

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC Receives 2018 Best of Huntington Award

2018 Best of Huntington AwardHuntington Award Program Honors the Achievement of Robin Newman

HUNTINGTON, NY — October 4, 2018

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC has been selected for the 2018 Best of Huntington Award in the Doctor category by the Huntington Award Program.

Each year, the Huntington Award Program identifies companies that they believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and our community. These exceptional companies help make the Huntington area a great place to live, work and play.

Various sources of information were gathered and analyzed to choose the winners in each category. The 2018 Huntington Award Program focuses on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the Huntington Award Program and data provided by third parties.

About the 2018 Best of Huntington Award Program

The Huntington Award Program is an annual awards program honoring the achievements and accomplishments of local businesses throughout the Huntington area. Recognition is given to those companies that have shown the ability to use their best practices and implemented programs to generate competitive advantages and long-term value.

The Huntington Award Program was established to recognize the best of local businesses in our community. Their organization works exclusively with local business owners, trade groups, professional associations and other business advertising and marketing groups. Their mission is to recognize the small business community’s contributions to the U.S. economy.

SOURCE: Huntington Award Program

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REBT theory explained by Robin Newman, LCSW

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Imago Relationship Therapist Long Island

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained

Intentional Dialogue – Imago Relationship Therapy Explained by Robin Newman, LCSW Every couple starts off the same …