How we feed into our depression / anxiety
Another question that is often asked to me when people are calling me up to sort of screen me to see if I’m the right fit is they’ll ask me, how I work with their depression / anxiety?
I try to approach it as a relational model.
I do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well.
Most people that are coming to me individually, they are coming in because from a relational perspective, they feel immobilized. They are in a relationship. They want to blame their parents, spouse, children, boss, etc.. whoever it is.
I try to create a construct for them to look at how are YOU feeding into the problem?
How are you making yourself the victim vs. the victor?
We try to focus on being curious again and filled with wonder about how do I participate in this relational dance as opposed to looking to blame, shame, or throw it off on someone else.
Let’s face it: we all want to completely control our outcomes in everything.
I think if we can spend less time thinking about what other people may be thinking, and spend more time thinking about what WE can do to change or shift the outcome, we’ll usually find a favorable outcome.
If there isn’t a favorable outcome, then you have the opportunity to look at the situation and say, ok so, now what do I do with the situation now that this person is not accepting the boundaries that I’ve expressed to them?