Tag: <span>relationship therapy</span>

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York

Avoid These Marriage Killers

Let’s face it – we’ve all probably been in a situation where we are arguing with our partner and start to become unkind in the process. Anger flares, insults are hurled, and now the difficult situation we found ourselves in has gotten increasingly worse. There’s many factors that can get in the way of a good marriage, but often, they’re the small, unnoticed things that make their way in. In order to make sure our marriages survive and thrive, here are 4 marriage killers every couple should be on the lookout for:

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York
  1. The Silent Treatment
    This behavior shuts off all communication and is used as a weapon of manipulation. You withdraw from the interaction. It’s sometimes a way to shutout stimulation when feeling attacked. You’re simply unresponsive. Learn to process your emotions when under stress. Communicate that you’re feeling overwhelmed / attacked and need time to process. If you find yourself consistently resorting to this behavior, it’s beneficial to seek out counseling to understand why this is your default response to conflict.
  2. Defensiveness
    You completely shut out what your partner is trying to say and instead you avoid accountability for your part in the conflict. It’s used to protect against feeling blamed – a form of counter attack. Realize that in every conflict, there are two sides. Accept responsibility for even part of the problem. Demonstrate a willingness to see your role in the problem.
  3. Criticism
    This is pointing out something negative by blaming a personality flaw verses the actual behavior. It’s about who a person is… a character assassination. This marriage killer is a form of verbal abuse and an attempt to tear down the other person’s self-esteem in order to obtain the outcome the critic desires. To combat criticism, use a gentle start up to a conversation. You can complain without attacking or blaming.
  4. Contempt
    Once criticism has taken root, the heat gets turned up to contempt. Tone of voice is the most powerful weapon in contempt. It diminishes another person in order to belittle or put them down. You portray harmful feelings of disgust, disrespect, mockery, name-calling, sneering or hostile humor. Build a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship. Look for the good in the other person and seek to restore the relationship through asking for forgiveness.

I think it’s important to remember that we’re all probably guilty of a few of these marriage killers on occasion. However, a pattern of these in your relationship should really serve as a red flag for you and your partner.

For more info. on couples counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

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Robin Newman, LCSW Long Island therapists

Are therapists paid to agree with you?

Robin Newman, Imago relationship therapist: Are therapists paid to agree with you?

I often get the question if I ever ‘agree’ with my clients.

So, here’s my answer to that:

I will always agree with blatant injustice. But, I feel that if I agree completely, I’m letting the person off the hook of looking at what their duplicity is. What they are doing to participate in the relationship / situation that they are in?

If I just agree, then how am I helping them to see and to prevent the next ‘set up’ because I always say to people that things come in different disguises.

So if I just agree with you saying he / she is a jackass, etc. and then you get into a new relationship with someone else and you’re doing the same things again. How is that helping you?

I’m going to be more in the realm of saying, yeah, that wasn’t such a great thing that he / she did to you, but what did you to participate? What patterns are you following / stuck in? What kinds of people are you choosing to surround yourself with to find yourself still getting into these situations?

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

Robin Newman, social worker & owner of the Huntington Relationship Center in Long Island, NY.

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC THE HUNTINGTON RELATIONSHIP CENTER

Imago Relationship Therapists – Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743 (631) 421-4701

individual counseling depression / anxiety Long Island

How we feed into our depression / anxiety

Another question that is often asked to me when people are calling me up to sort of screen me to see if I’m the right fit is they’ll ask me, how I work with their depression / anxiety?

I try to approach it as a relational model.

I do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well.

Most people that are coming to me individually, they are coming in because from a relational perspective, they feel immobilized. They are in a relationship. They want to blame their parents, spouse, children, boss, etc.. whoever it is.

I try to create a construct for them to look at how are YOU feeding into the problem?

How are you making yourself the victim vs. the victor?

We try to focus on being curious again and filled with wonder about how do I participate in this relational dance as opposed to looking to blame, shame, or throw it off on someone else.

Let’s face it: we all want to completely control our outcomes in everything.

I think if we can spend less time thinking about what other people may be thinking, and spend more time thinking about what WE can do to change or shift the outcome, we’ll usually find a favorable outcome.

If there isn’t a favorable outcome, then you have the opportunity to look at the situation and say, ok so, now what do I do with the situation now that this person is not accepting the boundaries that I’ve expressed to them?

Individual counseling is meant to help people with emotional & other mental health issues such as depression / anxiety, which can range in severity / intensity. Get the help you need in a 100% safe space.

Contact Robin for additional information on therapy sessions.

For other videos of Robin Newman, watch on YouTube!

centering exercise - Book an appointment with social worker in Huntington, NY

Centering exercise before couples speak during therapy

Centering exercise before couples speak during therapy with Robin Newman, LCSW in Long Island, NY.

Whenever I start an Imago session with a couple, they often ask why we do a centering exercise before starting.

Part of why I believe in doing a centering exercises, is first of all, to calm oneself. It also sets up an openness to listen.

Casey the therapy dog

I have a therapy dog in this practice and I now like to use the metaphor of trying to see the world through a puppy’s eyes.

Take that puppy-kind-of-attitude and use that when looking at your partner’s stated issues.

Be curious at what they’re saying, opposed to getting defensive, annoyed and/or angry.

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

David Augsberger

For more info. on counseling, contact Robin Newman, LCSW

Imago relationship therapy provides couples with effective communication tools that allow both people to feel safe & connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

When both partners make positive changes that have meaning to the other, it serves as reinforcement and is a catalyst for more positive change. At this time, making changes could seem difficult but this too will probably be explored in the counseling process.

Robin Newman, social worker & owner of the Huntington Relationship Center in Long Island, NY.

The Art of Communication Weekend Couples Workshop Long Island

Getting The Love You Want: Weekend Couples Workshop

Become the most connected couple you know with this Long Island weekend workshop to help you & your partner enhance closeness, communicate better, and experience a deeply fulfilling & lasting relationship.

SAT & SUN, SEPTEMBER 21 & 22, 2019, 9:30-7:00 PM

575 Broadhollow Road Melville, NY 11747
(MAKE IT A GETAWAY: located across the street from Hilton hotel.)

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PCYour relationship is much more likely to be a long, happy one if you and your partner both make an active effort to communicate, both well and often. If you want to learn the secrets to long-term relationship success, attend our weekend workshop or contact me today for more information on couples counseling.

Breakfast, refreshments & snacks included.

$545.00 per couple.

** This workshop is designed for married and single couples of all gender and sexual orientations.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couples

The New York Times Bestselling Guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship.

Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended by professional therapists and happy couples around the world.

TRANSFORMATION IS NEAR

·     Become passionate best friends again.
·     Learn how to end the power struggles.
·     Harness conflict and redirect to growth.
·     Start the journey of healing.

For more info., contact Robin Newman (631) 421-4701.

Long Island Couples Workshop September 2019Do any of these describe your relationship?

Do you LOVE each other, but feel DISTANT & DISCONNECTED?

Do you want more ROMANCE & INTIMACY?

Do you WONDER what happened to the PASSION of earlier days?

Do you wish you ARGUED less & TALKED more?

Are you ANGRY all of the time & easily IRRITATED?

Do you long to feel more CONNECTED?

Then JOIN US for our next GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT weekend couples workshop!

Photos of our space in Melville, NY for Long Island couples workshops:

Long Island Weekend Couples WorkshopRobin Newman, LCSW, and her husband Don will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection and wholeness using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation.

Long Island Couples Workshop May 4 & 5, 2019

Long Island Couples Workshop May 4 & 5, 2019

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT – Couples Workshop May 4 & 5

social worker Long Island

A Couple’s Workshop for Communication & Intimacy

For all committed couples – married or unmarried.

Learn what all relationships need to be healthy, happy and successful.

  • Learn to communicate effectively
  • Understand what drives conflict
  • Feel deeply heard & find forgiveness
  • Rebuild broken trust and security​
  • Nurture emotional intimacy
  • Keep your love alive and thriving
  • Learn the importance of affection

If you and your spouse have not been communicating the best, this weekend workshop can make all the difference! Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist in this boot camp couples workshop!

Jump-start the process to recover the love in your relationship.

Don’t miss our next Couples Workshop May 4 & 5 !!

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC
Imago Relationship Therapist
Individual, Couples & Family Counseling

148 East Main Street (Suite 102) Huntington, NY 11743
631-421-4701

Imago is a type of relationship therapy which provides a unique opportunity for couples to learn how to use the issues that they have in their relationship for growth and healing.

It offers communication tools that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

Become the most connected couple you know with this Long Island weekend workshop to help you & your partner enhance closeness, communicate better, and experience a deeply fulfilling & lasting relationship.

Long Island NY Couples Workshop March 2 & 3 2019

Long Island Couples Workshop March 2 & 3, 2019

Long Island couples workshop presenter, social worker and professor Robin Newman will guide you and your partner to deeper levels of connection and wholeness using Imago Relationship Therapy, a transformational approach that allows you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago brings you healing, wholeness, and spiritual growth.

This workshop is designed for couples of all gender, marriage and sexual orientations.

Long Island NY Couples Workshop March 2 & 3 2019GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT COUPLES WORKSHOPS TEACH YOU TO:

  • Speak a new language with your partner
  • Say goodbye to the bad stuff
  • Say hello to the good stuff
  • Manage your relational fears
  • Convert frustrations into wishes
  • Shift from judgment to wonder in your relationship

Don’t miss it! If you’re struggling to find connection with your partner, this Long Island couples workshop will give you the tools to succeed. This is a 100% supportive space.

Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist in this boot camp couples workshop!

Imago is a type of relationship therapy which provides a unique opportunity for couples to learn how to use the issues that they have in their relationship for growth and healing. It offers communication tools that will allow both people to feel safe and connected as they talk about their problems, instead of entering the painful “power struggle”.

148 East Main Street #102 Huntington, NY 11743

Breakfast, refreshments & snacks included.
Limited space for 5 couples.
$545.00 per couple.

Call today to register (631) 421-4701

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT - a guide for couplesGetting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended every day by professional therapists and happy couples around the world.

Become the most connected couple you know with this revolutionary weekend workshop to help you and your partner recapture joy, enhance closeness, and experience the reward of a deeply fulfilling relationship.

Rediscover the joy you once had in your relationship.
Renew the vision for your relationship.
Restore the passion in your love life.

This workshop can make all the difference!

< Watch Robin on YouTube >

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops - JAN FEB MAR 2019

Join us for our next couples workshop!

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops – JAN FEB MAR 2019

Rediscover the joy you once had in your relationship.
Renew the vision for your relationship.
Restore the passion in your love life.

Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshops – JAN, FEB, MAR 2019

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC “My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.”

Don’t miss it! If you are struggling to find clarity and connection with your partner, this workshop will give you the tools to succeed. This is a 100% supportive space.

Please call (631) 421-4701 or email to register.

148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743

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Robin Newman Huntington, NY

Long Island Social Worker

Long Island social worker Robin Newman’s approach towards couples therapy is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing with each other, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.

Remember, love is like oxygen, we need it for survival. Find ways to demonstrate your love for your spouse/partner many times each day.

Robin Newman, LCSW-R, PC - Long Island social workerROBIN NEWMAN LCSW-R PC
Advanced Certified IMAGO Relationship Therapist
Adjunct professor at the Adelphi School of Social Work
“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”
Robin Newman helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy.

Relationship Tip #10

Couples Therapy LI NY : Relationship Tip #10Relationship Tip #10

Differentiation and togetherness are both important in a relationship. You need time as a couple and you need time as an individual. There will be activities you do together and ones you do separately. There will be values you share, and values that are important to one of you, but not the other. Learn to accept and respect both.

marriage killers - Imago Relationship Therapy New York

Avoid These Marriage Killers

Let’s face it – we’ve all probably been in a situation where we are arguing with our partner and start …

the spiral experience in relationships - Imago therapy NY

The spiral experience in relationships – Imago therapy NY

Robin talks about the spiral experience in relationships according to Imago relationship therapy during her couples’ …

Robin Newman, LCSW Long Island therapists

Are therapists paid to agree with you?

Robin Newman, Imago relationship therapist: Are therapists paid to agree with you? I often get the question if I ever ‘agree’ …