ROBIN NEWMAN, LCSW-R, PC Individual, Family & Couples Counseling Long Island, NY. Appreciate Your Partner The Huntington Relationship & Therapy Center 148 East Main Street Huntington, NY 11743 (631) 421-4701 “My approach towards couples is oriented not only towards solving the problems the couple is facing, but to revive the feeling of love and affection they have towards each other.” ABOUT ROBIN…
One of the biggest long term relationship foundation issues that I hear from couples is that things have changed. But life (and people) continue to change. Words I hear from couples often when in my office: “You’re not the person who I married.” “What happened to us?” “We used to have fun and share the same things in common.” What…
“Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reasoning and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding.” Relationship Tip #17: This quote from Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that blaming another person does not work; what works is understanding the other. I find it helps to remember…
Surprise your spouse. Buy or do something that you know will delight them. It could be renting a movie they said they wanted to see or coming home with their favorite coffee. For information on our next couples workshop, click here. 5 WEEK COUPLES INTENSIVE WORKSHOP May 24th – June 28th Thursdays, 7:00 PM – 8:30 PM
The traits you hate in your spouse are, most often, traits that you also, unconsciously, hate in yourself. Try to accept those traits as part of who you are and part of who your spouse is. It may help to remember that none of us are perfect and we all have both positive and negative qualities. For information on our…
Use sentences that start with “I” rather than “you.” For example, “I feel invisible when I come home and you ignore me; I feel angry when I see your clothes on the floor; I would appreciate it if you’d call me if you’re going to be late so I don’t worry about you.” Relationship Tip #14 The Huntington Relationship and…
Relationship Tip #13 Give up criticism. When we criticize, we say something negative about the other person: you are lazy, you are a slob, you are a nag. These remarks are hurtful and often trigger the other person to become angry and defensive.
Relationship Tip #12 Do one nice thing for your partner each day; one act of kindness or thoughtfulness. Do it as a “gift” to them without expecting anything in return.
Relationship Tip #11 Poet John Donohue said, “bless the space between us.” Think of your relationship as living in the space between both of you, and remember to take care of that space. Everything you say and everything you do affects the space (your relationship) : the way you look at each other, the tone of voice you use, the…
Relationship Tip #10 Differentiation and togetherness are both important in a relationship. You need time as a couple and you need time as an individual. There will be activities you do together and ones you do separately. There will be values you share, and values that are important to one of you, but not the other. Learn to accept and…